NA
by Theoretical
Summary: McGee wakes up at Abby's house after a night of drinking. His pants are missing and Gibbs is angry. Stirpping in chocolate vat's and penguins insue. Chapter 44 Added two chapters in one, so, it's really chapter 45 and 46. 45 or 47 last line. DONE!
1. Abby's Pants

Disclaimer: Don't own, I am just borrowing them, although, I may or may not return them.

Note: A friend and I were bored.

McGee opened his eyes. Why was it so dark? He looked over at the small digital clock, 9:15 am? No, couldn't be, it was to dark. Crap. Where was he?

Obviously he had a hangover, god, what had he done last night? The team had went to a bar to celebrate solving an extremely difficult case…

"Good morning!" A light switched on reviling none other than Abby. McGee stared at her, was he at Abby's house? "What? Don't I get a good morning back?" She asked presenting him with a mug of coffee.

That explained the darkness.

"Good morning Abby. Why am I here?" He mumbled not meaning to say the last part aloud.

"I rescued you!" She replied proudly dragging him out of the room into a normal looking (asides from some for the pictures and case files) house. How had she rescued him? Oh, right, Tony. Must have been Tony. What had he done to Tony? Nothing! Yet Tony tortured him to no tomorrow.

"From Gibbs!" Abby said with her usual perkiness. She propped him up in an arm chair and pulled a pair of black sweat pants that were obviously made for a woman. McGee hadn't even noticed his lack of pants.

"Couldn't I just wear my pants from the day before?" He asked almost fully awake now.

"If Tony hadn't taken them." Abby smiled. "I tried to get them back but…" Her voice trailed off obviously imagining what had happened. McGee didn't remember Abby having anything to drink, which, was probably good.

To Be continued!

Where are McGee's pants?

What did he do to Gibbs?

And…

Will he change his pants. Coming soon.


	2. The car ride

Disclaimer: Don't own. Just borrowing,. …Forever, and ever, and ever… I wish.

"Come on." Abby motioned pulling McGee outside by his arm.

"Ow, ow ow, Abby that hurts." McGee struggled to escape.

Abby pulled him into her car. As she leaned over and fumbled for her keys, McGee noticed a piece of what seemed to be a piece of cotton on her head. It stood out against her black hair.

Being the helpful person he was, McGee reached over to pluck it out of her hair then show her, however, at that moment she sat up landing his hand firmly on her breast.

"Uh…." Was all the McGee could manage to say. Abby glared at him buckled up and started the car.

"I'm sorry…?" He guessed weakly, feeling a mix of many things, including but not limited to, confusedness, happiness, an erection and guilt.

Abby did not reply.

Thanks to reckless driving and lazy cops they arrived at McGee's house in 15 minutes.

"Go get some pants." Abby instructed him coldly. "and perhaps a pillow." She added.

"But, um Abby. My keys were in my pants." He said without getting out of the car.

Quickly they were driving again, this time to NCIS headquarters.

"I don't want to go to work wearing these…" He said quite loudly motioning at Abby's Sweat pants. "They were made of a girl." Immediately he knew he shouldn't have said that...

TBC...

Will McGee have to go out and about in Abby's pants?  
Where are McGee's pants and keys?  
Why is Gibbs mad at McGee?  
Where will Kate and Ducky come into play?  
The answer to all these questions and more in the next chapter possibly.

Also, what do sporks have to do with this story?


	3. McGee's Pants

Disclaimer: They are not mine, but... I will change my name, move to the moon, I will do whatever it takes! YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM BACK! Muh-ha-ha-ha-ha!  
Eats some cheese

* * *

Now for the answer all of you have been worried sick about, I'm sure, 'What is that thing in your belly button' or perhaps one a bit more intelligent... 'What do sporks have to do with the story?' Well, I'll tell you. Nothing!

...Or perhaps they are the very best part of the story where in Tony strips in a vat of chocol- Never mind! No chocolate vat stripping! You heard nothing…

* * *

"Abby. I'm sorry." McGee said over and over as the entered the building, not only was his saying this attracting attention but the fact that he was wearing woman's sweat pants That many guessed belonged to Abby. Also raised some eyebrows.

"Hey! Probie!" A familiar voice yelled. McGee stopped his apologizing for a moment and turned to look. "Nice pants." DiNozzo said smoothly.

"Where are they?" McGee asked glaring at DiNozzo, he had not even noticed that Abby had left.

"Your pants?" Dinozzo questioned. "There." He pointed out a window facing the flag. McGee didn't see anything untill a strong breeze blew some five seconds later. There were his pants, proudly on display for  
all to see.

He rushed over and leaning out the window attempted to grab them. Thank goodness they were attached to the window not the flag pole.

"McGee!" Gibbs' voice thundered through McGee ears causing him to jump. "Leave your pants alone."

"But, Um, Sir," He pointed at Abby's pants. "I can't we-"

"Your the one who came to working them" Gibbs interrupted whilst Tony nodded approvingly.

* * *

TBC...

Where is Kate?  
Where is Ducky?  
Why won't Gibbs let McGee get his pants? Because it's realllllly amusing! That's why!  
Where is Abby now?  
Does Tony really strip in a vat of chocolate? Perhaps?  
Does Kate lick off the chocolate?

The answer to these perhaps and more Very perhaps. in the next chapter.

Seriously though, Let me know if you want Tony to strip in a vat of chocolate.


	4. Freakish Weather and Abby

Disclaimer: I wrote a letter to the owners. I can only hope the way I used the word please and thank you after every sentence.

Also, I don't know when I will have Tony strip but I do know that yes, it will happen. That chapter will be titled (And I get points for creativity here.) 'Tony strips in a vat of chocolate and Kate licks it off.' assuming there's that much space to put the title there. In fact I might just have to make a different story entirely about that.!

Also, also, I had to write this chapter twice. I was about to save it when a gigantic T-Rex barged into my house let my pet dog loose, left, then after I got my dog back into his little place, I went back to my computer and it shut down for no apparent reason. Grrrrr……

Also, also, also, sorry this one took so long, the severs were busy or something and I couldn't log in….

* * *

Kate walked up to the building, under her arms she carried a large jacket, a sweater and a hat. She was wearing a black turtle neck and sweating profusely. When she had left her house that morning, it had been freakishly cold, it was now freakishly hot.

She made her way to the elevator and went down to Abby's lab. She reasoned that a) Abby would have a place for her stuff and b) possibly a tank top with her for no apparent reason. She also reasoned that if Abby had a tank top she wouldn't take it as when she went outside to investigate a murder or kidnapping or some other fiendish thing, that it would begin to snow. Even if the weather was still at 90 degrees.

"Hey Abby?" Kate stepped into the lab "Oh my god what happened!" She screamed. On the monitor was McGee's face covered in cut and bruises.

"I HATE McGee." She replied. A few seconds later another bruise had been added.

"Um…" Abby added a few more cuts.

"BUT!" She continued, "I LOVE this software."

"Why?" Kate asked upon realizing the picture of McGee was a year old, he was smiling and wearing a strange hat. Her 'why' had been to ask what had happened however Abby replied,

"Because normally, this would be illegal." She added another bruise, saved the picture and 'X'-ed it out. "So, what can I do for you? DNA? Unknown fibers? A bullet?" She eyes filled with a child's wonderment as she smiled wider and asked two more things, "Hacking? Paranormal activity?"

"No... Do you have some where where I can put this?" Kate motioned at the coats under her arm.

* * *

TBC… 

Where is Ducky?  
What will happen if they are called to a dead body?  
Will McGee be ashamed to go out in public?  
Does Abby want her pants back?  
Will she ever wear those pants again?  
When will Tony strip in a vat of chocolate?  
And most importantly….  
WHY am I wearing a spoon on my nose?


	5. Talking

Disclaimer: Well I got a letter back but all that was in it was confetti. Although it had a strange resemblance to the letter I sent them before… Oh well. At least it wasn't a form letter. None the less I have hidden all the characters in an undisclosed location located some where near my keys which are in my left pocket because my other jacket pocket has many NCIS people in it. I probably shouldn't have said that. You heard nothing.

Also, that one moment in last nights episode where Tony and Kate were in the car…

* * *

"We could do what the Eskimos do."

"What's that?"

"Snuggle up really close," Pause "but we could do it naked."

Sorry. Had to put that. I might reference it in the chocolate vat striping scene…

"Why is Abby so mad at you?" Kate asked stepping up to McGee. "she won't tell me, but I do know it really up set her." Kate thought back to the very beat up/dead McGee.

"I don't know! I did nothing!" Tony yelled in surprise.

"Not you stupid. McGee." This caught Tony's attention, what could McGee have done to Abby? He practically worshiped her it seemed.

"We were in her car and she was getting her keys. There was something in her hair so, I went to go get it. She choose to sit up at that moment…" His voice trailed off. He wasn't sure what would happen if he were to continue with the story. All the feelings he had felt before were coming back…

"That all? Why would she get mad about that?" Kate asked surprised.

"Well," McGee closed his eyes then continued. "When she sat up I may have, and I'm not saying I did…, touched her breast." McGee said the last part very softly but Tony and Kate heard.

"You what!" They said at the same time.

"I'm going to go see Abby." Kate muttered and headed off.

"So, McGee, how'd it feel?" Tony smirked.

"I was a bit confused at first but then I was a bit happy then I was afraid th-"

"Not you personally. Her boob! What did it feel like?"

"Well, it was soft and squishy I guess…"

"Large or small?" Tony prompted.

"I don't want to talk about it." McGee rushed off to the bathroom.

A loud smack echoed the building as Gibbs smacked Tony on the head.

"What was that for!" Tony jumped rubbing the back of his head.

"I think you know."

* * *

TBC…

Where is ducky? (In the next chapter!)  
Will McGee come back anytime soon?  
What will Kate and Abby talk about?  
Will I ever stop the annoying questions?  
And  
When will Tony strip in a vat of chocolate! (This is one of the many reasons I am writing son quickly. I want to see this for myself.)

The answer to one, maybe two of these in the next chapter!


	6. Butt Prints and More

Disclaimer: I have verified that the confetti I got was the letter I sent them. So, I guess that I _still_ don't own them.

Also, I'm sorry there hasn't been chocolate vat stripping yet.

Also, Also, when Ducky talks please imagine a British accent.

* * *

"Abby?" Kate entered the lab. Abby not there. Then again maybe she was. 

The doors slid open.

"Hi Kate!" Abby smiled. In her hair was what seemed to be a piece of something. Whatever it was it stood out against her black hair. Could it be that McGee was possibly telling the truth? Kate wondered.

"You have something in your hair." Kate walked up to Abby and plucked it out.

"So, what can I do for you?" Abby was more cheerful than she had been earlier.

"McGee told us what happened." Kate gave a friendly smile.

"I see." Suddenly the doors opened again, McGee walked in and stared at the piece of lint that Kate was holding.

"That!" He gasped.

"What?" Abby asked, both of the girls were glaring at McGee.

"I was trying to get the out of you hair when you sat up and made me," The doors slid open. "touch your breast!" McGee half yelled half cried.

"Oh my." Ducky said. "I do believe I came in at the wrong point in the conversation, but while I'm here, Abby could you run this um, well, butt print? We found it on a lieutenant. And, is there something I can do?" He motioned towards McGee.

"It's fine, Ducky." Abby motioned towards McGee and took the print which was rather large. "By the way, you do know we have no system for butt prints, right?"

"Well, I was hoping you might be able to get some DNA off of it. Perhaps?"

"Okay!"

The doors slid as Ducky left.

"Fine?" Kate whispered in Abby's ear. McGee hadn't moved since he had finished talking.

"I guess so." Abby whispered back looking at McGee whom was obviously confused about what was happening.

"You don't really believe his story. Do you? I mean you did have something in your hair, but…"

"McGee isn't a good liar." Abby smiled. "It's one of the many reasons he will NEVER get to do an interrogation."

Kate and Abby chuckled at this. The doors slid open then closed as Kate walked out.

The only sound in the room asides from Abby walking to her computer was a soft "Uh…." Coming form McGee.

* * *

TBC… 

What will happen next?  
When the chocolate vat stripping start?  
Where did I get the butt print idea?  
Will Abby delete the picture of McGee?  
Will there be DNA on the butt print?  
And…  
Fibbler flobber flim flam flooooo!  
Muh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!


	7. DNA and Kisses

Disclaimer: I don't own it. If I did certain characters who's names rhyme with Pont and Late would be together, not to name names….

Also,I was going to add TWO chpater today but my computer failed to save one properly so.. I'll re-type it tomarrow. MAYBE.

Also, also, In that sotry that was deleted I had laid out the ground works for chocolate vat stripping. Whatever. YOu don't need that chapter to understnad this one, although you might be a bit confussed.

* * *

"So, DNA? Cool." McGee nodded his head as Abby headed back from giving the information to Gibbs. He still hadn't moved unable to believe that Abby had for given him.

"I'm sorry that I-" McGee continued.

"Stop apologizing! It was an accident! Your sorrys are becoming VERY annoying!" Abby snapped at him, she was glaring intensely.

"I sor- Never mind. Not sorry." McGee was proud of himself for remembering not to be sorry.

"That's better." Abby smiled and kissed him lightly on the cheek causing McGee to start blushing immediately.

Did she like him? He wondered. Perhaps he was reading to much into the situation. It was just a friendly kiss. He continued to tell himself over and over for about a minute until his cell phone rang.

"Hello!" He greeted, only to hear Gibbs voice telling him to head back to the bullpen.

"Okay. Bye Abby." He said a bit to loudly.

"Bye." She answered simply as she was deeply immersed in a game of chess against the computer that she seemed to be winning.

* * *

TBC…

WHY can't I think of any annoying questions to ask?  
When will the chocolate vat stripping begin!


	8. Tony and The Chocolate Factory

Disclaimer: Me no own. Me want own but then big company want sue. Me sad.

Also, I am listening to bubble gum right now. Because I'm chewing bubble gum. Me-hee-hee-hee-hee.

Also, also I'm looking for someone to beta.(A.K.A 'Edit' but that's all right.)

Also, also, also Moo.

also, also, also, also I like typing also.

* * *

Tony's upper torso hung out of the window. Gibbs' had instructed him to get them while he met with Abby. So far, Tony had been able to grasp on of the legs, but it was no use. He had tied them on to the random thing that served no purpose. There was a swoosh of the elevator that Tony did not hear. In that elevator was Kate.

She had stopped by and told Ducky what had happened. Ducky had been, to say the least, doubtful.

"Hello Tony." Kate said as she walked by him into the bullpen. At the sound of her voice Tony jumped. There was a crack and rip as he jumped. His head had hit the window and McGee's pants were ripped in half down the crotch.

"I see." Kate said and turned away, as Gibbs entered.

"Kate! DiNozzo!" Kate and Tony hurried over. "We got DNA off the butt print. He's in the syst-"

Tony had snatched away the paper. He was able to read it for a second before Gibbs grabbed the paper back from him.

"As, I was saying," Gibbs looked menacingly at Tony, "He's in the system, Mr. John Hifton. He owns 'Hifton Chocolate'. Three years ago he was charged for murder. 25-life." Seeing Kate's face he decided to complain. "He was found guilty but, then his lawyer asked for another trial where he was found innocent."

Tony cleared his throat. "So you want to go… where?"

"The chocolate factory."

Tony skipped towards the elevator, and yelled back to Kate, "Just call me Charlie!"

* * *

TBC… 

Will there EVER be long chapters!  
WHAT will happen at the factory? (Hmmm…. I wonder.)  
How many more chapters to the chocolate vat striping!  
And…  
AM I INSANE?


	9. Red and Navy Blue Pants

Disclaimer: Today we present the guide to 'Knowing when and if I ever own NCIS!'

Just watch every episode and look for the following ten things!

Random chocolate vat stripping  
-Lots and Tate (More then there is already.)  
-Penguins  
-Beatles Music  
-Episodes that seem oddly familiar to ones on FanFiction  
-Random guest appearances featuring, Mick Jagger, Paul McCartney, Eric Clapton, Ringo Star, Usher, and many, many more  
-Ducky talks a lot more  
-Ducky talks with a more British accent  
-There is no ninth thing. I just like the number ten so I needed to include this  
-McGee gets a tattoo

Also, Some Q and A

Normally Blame/Credit would begiven tome but...

Disclaimer #2: Questions by Moon'sTear. I take no blame/credit for any heart failure/penguins that may occur as a resault of reading any questions. However, I will take the penguins if you don't want them. But, how could you not. Penguins rock.

**Q. Will Tony REALLY strip in a vat of chocolate?  
**A. Do you think I would JOKE about something that serious! OF COURSE he does!

**Q. Will there be Oompa Loompas?  
**A. No. They are evil.

**Q. Will Gene Wilder make an appearance?  
**A. I will attempt to buy him, but I can not make any guarantees.

**Q. Will McGee's pants ever be the same?  
**A. No. This will be explained in greater detail during this chapters which features pants descriptions.

* * *

McGee walked back into Abby's lab holding his pants. They had lived a great long life of about three weeks only to be killed by Tony. McGee looked up only to see Abby looking right back at him. 

"Do you want me to sew those?" She asked pulling out a small sewing kit. Be fore McGee could answer she had grabbed the pants and was attacking them vigorously with a needle.

McGee pulled up the pants he was wearing that did not fit, that morning he would have never guessed what was going to happen that day. First woman's pants, Then he had touched her, then Abby had KISSED him (McGee was still in a state of shock.), and now his pants were being sewed.

"All better!" She announced holding up the pants. The stitches were nice and, McGee couldn't believe his eyes. RED. The stitches were RED. The pants were a dark Navy blue. It stuck out like that thing in Abby's hair earlier.

"Wow! It's great." McGee smiled and held them up to himself, "Just like new."

"You hate it." Abby replied the smile dropping from her face.

"NO! I love it but I was expecting it to be a different color. In fact, I like them so much I'm going to go change into them!" He smiled and wandered off knowing that Abby was not only smiling again but also that he would have interesting memories whenever he wore the pants, which knowing Abby, he should probably wear once a week.

"Really?"

"Yes."

* * *

TBC… 

Will the readers have more annoying questions?  
Do I have spinach in my teeth?  
WHEN will Tony strip?  
Will I ever own anything on TV?  
And…  
WILL THERE BE ANYTHING ABOUT GENE WILDER!


	10. Wearing Weird Pants

Disclaimer: If I don't put a disclaimer then maybe some big CEO-like person will think '"Hey! That person hasn't said they don't own it, so obviously they must own it, so lets let them own it!" Or something along those lines.

Also, I'm trying to make my chapters longer.

Also, also,

**Q. Will McGee really put on those pants?**  
A. Yes.

**Q. Did Abby do it just to spite him!  
**A. No. But she will do something just to spite him.  
Random fact: Add and 'r' to spite to get Sprite

**Q. Will the chocolate factory survive Tony's vat stripping goodness?**  
A. I'm not sure although, I have reason to believe the someone stripping in a vat of chocolate might be a health code violation.  
Please note: Stripping in a vat of any food/substance that will be distributed to the public is most likely a health code violation.

**Q. Will Ducky be making an appearance soon?**  
A. Possibly.

**Q. Will Kate enjoy the vat stripping, perhaps even join in?**  
A. She will not join in, however, she will lick off the chocolate for reasons yet to be disclosed.

* * *

McGee slipped off Abby's sweat pants in the mild privacy of the bathroom,she probably wouldn't want them back. His newly sewn pants fit a bit better than they had before for some reason, but how, he could not say. The only thing he could really find wrong with them was the red stitches, and that wasn't a huge problem. As long as he avoided Tony. 

Make that two problems with the pants. As he reached into the large-ish pocket in the front the felt something. Is appeared to be gum. Already chewed mushy gum. He could still smell the bubble gum scent. Great. It was stuck. The gum oozed over his fingers.

Abby probably had peanut butter somewhere.

Hopefully it wasn't red peanut butter.

* * *

"Abby, I don't suppose you have any peanut butter?" McGee asked stepping intot he lab for what seemed to be the millionth time that day. To him at least. 

"Uh... No why? Eww…" She looked at the gum, "Well come one." She grabbed for her keys.

"Umm.. Why?" McGee asked. It was one thing to wear the pants in front of Abby but, in public? He wondered when he would die of embarrassment.

"Yes. To a store to get peanut butter for your hand." She said heading out the door.

"In public?"

"No. I have my own private little store." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.

* * *

TBC… 

When will Tony strip?  
What will happen at the store?  
And  
WILL I EVER GET A PET PENGUIN?


	11. Duck, Duck, Goose

Disclaimer: I haven't been contacted by a CEO yet so I'm assuming that I still don't own it. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go see someone about my very top secret plan to somehow steal the characters. You heard nothing…

Also, I have to make a pop-up book for my English class and then we get to go read it to this day care that's close to our school! The title of mine is 'Harold the Squirrel's alphabet adventure!" It is so fun. I never thought I'd say this but… I think Ican mildly standthat evil, ignorant, hypocrite English teacher of mine!

Also, also, More O and A (I see that you can hardly contain your joy. Here, have some Tupperware.)

**Q. Will Abby shove McGee in one of the giant freezers at the store?  
**A. I will add that to my list of ideas

**Q. Will you be selling the chocolate the Tony stripped in to people? If yes, can I buy some?  
**A. It's mine all mine! You can't have it!

**Q. Will you be selling to other countries?  
**A. Please see above answer.

* * *

Ducky uncovered the latest body. It seemed rather small, probably a child, Gibbs had told him it was the only 'Family' the a officer had.

It had been left as and death threat he supossed. Slowly he uncovered the body and jumped up in shock.

"Oh my, oh my." He muttered to himself, "You must have been quite a beauty in your time, though, I'd never expect to see you here."

He reached for his tools and pushed asides the soft feathers on the chest of the goose and begun his atuopsy of the bird.

* * *

This one is ultra short because

a) I am lazy  
b) I just wanted to write this  
c) It is, like the rest of the story, random and strange  
d) It helped make a cool name for a chapter  
And  
e) I wanted a Ducky scene.

* * *

TBC…

Will there be more of Ducky and the Goose!  
(Hint: Learn to read my mind.)  
When will Tony strip?  
(Hint that will probably not help you at all unless you can read my mind which is scary if you can: 1.4-1)  
Can you read my mind?  
(Hint: Know pig latin.)  
Why did my friend feel the need to attack me and give me a makeover!  
(Hint: She is insane.)  
Why do I keep giving hints!  
(Hint: I am insane.)  
Why do you keep reading the questions at the bottom of each chapter!  
(Hint: You are insane.)  
Why are we insane!  
(Hint: y3x+23+p)  
And  
What will happen at the store?  
(Hint: Give me a hint because my jar of hints seems to be running low and I need hints for tomarrow.)


	12. A Vat of Chocolate

Disclaimer: I own nothing except John Hifton. But I don't want to own John Hifton because he is kind of ugly and would never strip in chocolate. Anyone want him?

Also, I've already written the chapter after this….. muh-ha-ha-ha!

* * *

The car ride to factory was nothing less than annoying. Not only did Tony suddenly develop a Gibbs-like driving technique but he also kept singing songs from 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'. Sure it was a good movie, maybe even great, but after a while the 'Oompaa Loompa' song just wanted to make Kate kill Tony. 

After about 45 minutes they arrived at the factory. It was harsh forbidding and the vast parking lot was full. The pulled up outside of the parking lot and stroll in. five minutes later they were at the entrance of the building labeled 'Hifton chocolate's since 1969' There was a picture of John Hifton holding a bar of chocolate but due to weathering it looking like a nose (His largest feature.) and a scrawny torso with a brown blob floating in the air.

'John Hiftons office' A large sign said at the front of the lobby with a large arrow pointing up some stairs. Security was minimal at best and the guards waved them through without even asking anything, they didn't even have to show their badges.

"Who are you?" Boomed John Hiftons voice from behind them as they attempted to open his office door.

"NCIS we would li-" Kate started to say as Hifton took off running chased by Tony. She put her badge back and ran after them.

She saw Tony run into a large room and followed. He was standing , with his gun drawn, on a large metal plate. There were many just like it around the room.

Slowly Hifton reached for a button and with a maniacal smile he pushed it causing the metal plates to retract quickly, opening four foot vats of chocolate. Tony fell into the vat with a yelp as Kate ran and chained Hifton to a post after making sure he had no weapons.

* * *

TBC… 

Why am I not asking when Tony will strip!  
When will I post the next chapter!  
What about the peanut butter!  
What is Gibbs doing during all this?  
And  
Why did I stop the chapter here!


	13. Tony Strips in a Vat of Chocolate

Disclaimer: Today is like every other day in that I still don't own, still want to own and pretend I own.  
But I don't own.  
Except for John Hifton.  
Who is ugly.  
But I love him because him pushing a button leads to the event in the title of this chapter.  
'Tony Strips in a Vat of Chocolate (I kid you not.)'

Oh! Q and A!

**Q. Uh...is Gibbs dancing with the penguins?  
**A. No. He is however doing something with the penguins.  
Hint: It is not nasty.

**Q. Why DID you stop the chapter there?  
**A. Is that a threat?  
Hint: I know karate.

**Q. What happened to all the funny Q & A's?  
**A. The penguins ate them. Then they attacked Gibbs.  
Hint: See question one.

**Q. Does the chocolate factory have security cameras?  
**A. Maybe.  
Hint: Videos are $12.76 each $14.01 on DVD with special features such as: Ducky eats chocolate, Penguins eat Chocolate, Cannibal chocolates eat each other on a deserted Island where they meet Regis then vote each other off every week until there is only one chocolate left who then get so bored that he eats Regis, an extra .0005 seconds or Tony striping in chocolate (Results may vary.) Tony chewing Bubble gum, Penguins eating fish, Penguins in general, pictures of penguins, and of course Abby listening to extremely loud music that will literally knock your TV to the ground because of the vibrations. Even if you mute it. And penguins.

**Q. Do we get to hear a ducky rant about stripping in chocolate?  
**A. Is that another threat?  
Hint: I have a metal spork.

P.S. Tony really does strip in this chapter.

* * *

"Tony are you okay?" Kate ran up to Tony. A bit of steam was rising from the vat as Tony took off his jacket.

"I'm hot." Is all he said as he started to take off his t-shirt. Kate noticed his shoes next to the vat.

"Then you should probably get out of the chocolate." She offered her hand to him.

"No."

The next thing she knew Tony had taken off his belt and pants and was getting of the chocolate without touching Kate's hand.

Even through the thick layer of chocolate she could see his muscular shape. Kate walked up to him, stuck her finger in the middle of his chest scooped a finger full of chocolate and whispered what she knew to be a total lie, "Your only hot temperature wise..."

John Hifton overheard this and let out a bit of an 'aww.'

"What?" Kate asked, glaring at him. It was a good thing he had spoken, for otherwise she might have forgotten him.

"You two would make such a cute couple." Hifton smiled innocently., "In fact, you Agent DiNozzo, are very cute!" He added winking.

Tony picked up his jacket and put it back on very quickly.

"Ill be in the car." Tony added as he headed towards the door.

"Come on." Kate unchained Hifton from the pole.

"Ok."

For a prisoner Mr. Hifton was being very complying, Kate noted. It worried her for some reason...

* * *

TBC…

What is Gibbs doing with penguins?  
What will happen at the store?  
Who am I?  
Did anyone think that I was going to have Tony kiss Kate?  
Should you be looking for that in the next few chapters?  
Should Kate be worried?  
And  
Where is Ducky?


	14. Sunny and Gibbs

Disclaimer: I own no one in this chapter. Except for Sunny. You'll see.

**Q. What is with Hifton and being creepy?**  
A. I have no idea. Wait. Yes I do. And I'm not going to tell you. Yet. Buw-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

**Q. How did Gibbs get involved with penguins?  
**A. That is answered in this chapter.

**Q. Why didn't Kate kiss Tony!  
**A. Because that comes later.

**Q. Regarding Q1... Is Hifton a homosexual?  
**A. Oui. Translation: Yes.

**Q. Is this going to end in Kate, Tony, a bed and chocolate body paint?  
**A. No. Try 'sleeping bag in a tree house and minus the chocolate body paint.'. I fear I may have said to much.

**Q. Why didn't Tony sing the Oompaa Loompa song while stripping?  
**A. Because Oompa Loompa's are evil and they scare me.

**Q. How is Tony going to get into his car, covered in chocolate?  
**A. This will require many different steps.

1. Unlock the car door.  
2. Open car door.  
3. Sit in car.  
4. Close door.  
5. Buckle up.  
6. Adjust mirrors and seats.  
7. Turn car on.  
8. Drive like a maniac.  
All while attracting the attention of a state trooper and many innocent bystanders.

**Q. Will we EVER get a Gibbs/coffee scene?  
**A. Gibbs yes, coffee, Maybe.

**Q. What does Abby think about the ugly man, Hifton?  
**A. She never meets him.

* * *

The doors of the NCIS headquarters slid open and in came one of the things you would never guess to be in a federal building except on special occasions. It slid through security easily. It was noticed by many but they just thought their eyes were deceiving them, but one man knew better. That man was Jethro Gibbs.

He had seen many things in his life but this was one of the weirdest. He ran up to the being and plucked them off the ground. Holding it away from him he headed down to autopsy.

"Ducky…" He asked entering the cold room.

"Oh my." Was the only answer.

"Can you watch him?" Gibbs asked holding out the creature.

"No, no, I'm afraid I'm a bit swamped what with the goose and well the young lady…" He motioned towards a covered body.

"Fine." Gibbs left to go get Abby and was surprised to find she wasn't in her lab.

He took out his cell phone and typed in Abby's number. Where was she. And McGee! He hadn't seen McGee for sometime…

"_Hello Boss" _Abby said cheerfully.

"Yeah, Abby where are you and do you know where McGee is?"

"_McGee had an incident with a wad of gum-"_

"_Don't tell him!" _Gibbs heard Abby interrupted by McGee.

"_Anyway, we'll be back pronto." _

"You better." Gibbs warned. "We have a situation with a penguin."

"_Name him Sunny." _Abby said as she hung up.

"Well Sunny," Gibbs looked at the penguin. "Come on." As much as he hated to admit it the Penguion was kind of cute.

* * *

TBC…

I don't feel like writing questions.


	15. How it feels to be a Penguin

Disclaimer: Guess what? I own it! Although, 'it' is not necessarily NCIS

BTW- Today is my un-birthday.

**Q. Why did Abby tell Gibbs to name the penguin sunny?**

A. That question is answered in this chapter and if you had read it then you woul- wait…

**Q. Will Kate get a chocolaty hug?**  
A. Yes. And Mr. Hifton has something to do with it. Hee hee hee.

**Q. Are you feeling okay?  
**A. Now that you mention it, I have an algebra quiz tomorrow. So, no. I am very, very ill. I am have developed a tragic allergy to the letter 'x' which will undoubtedly be used at least 1.098087109 times. I guess I shouldn't take the quiz and that out of pity my teacher should give me an 'a'.  
Hint: Scientific notation sucks and my computer was not meant for typing up math problems. It was meant for 'borrowing' people from TV.

**Q. Why call the penguin Sunny?  
**A. See questions one.

**Q. Has that happened before?  
**A. Penguins? I doubt it. Maybe in congress…

**Q. Why is Abby not confused as to why Gibbs has a penguin?  
**A. Because, she is Abby.

**Q. WHEN are we gonna get the store scene?  
**A. In this chapter.

**Q. Why would you only see a penguin in the building only on special occasions?  
**A. Because Thursdays end in q except when they end in z or on Mondays that are spelled Zjksdnh. So ha!

**Q. Tony and Kate in a tree house with a sleeping bag? or is it You and Tony in a tree house with a sleeping bag instead of Kate...?  
**A. Um… No. It's Kate.

* * *

"What was that all about?" McGee asked as he and Abby walked up and down every single aisle in the store looking for peanut butter.

It was a very large store yet it was almost empty. Abby had grabbed a cart rather than a basket. Choosing the cart had taken about three minutes. Abby had wanted to find one that was squeaky but not messed up in that one wheel was always turned to the left or something like that.

"There was a penguin in the lab," Abby said as if that sort of thing happened everyday, "I told him to name it Sunny because penguins usually live in cold icy places, but today, it is sunny out."

"Uh-huh," McGee answered, unsure what she was talking about.

"Ah-ha!" Abby exclaimed, "Here it is!" She picked up a jar of peanut butter and stuck it into the middle of the cart.

As they neared the end of the aisle Abby turned up the next aisle, frozen foods. It was not the most direct route to the cash register but McGee thought it might be in his best interest not to ask 'why'.

"I think you should get into a freezer." Abby opened one that had a small alcove in it for some reason.

"Uh… Why?"

"Because, I think you should know what it feels like to be a penguin."

Oddly enough it made sense to McGee and he climbed in, wishing he had worn a heavier jacket.

* * *

TBC…

What will happen at the store?  
When will Tony and Kate kiss?  
Why is Mr. Hifton so creepy?  
Does anyone reading this story like 'The Beatles'?  
And  
Flim-flam-flibber-floo?

Discussion question: If you had a penguin what would you name it?


	16. Frozen says Hot

Disclaimer: I don't own. But, if you would like to buy it for me I'm not opposed.

**Q. Abby put McGee in the freezer! lol! dances do u like my dancing? **  
A. Your dancing is fabulous.

**Q. Will Abby leave McGee in the freezer?**  
A. You'll have to wait and see, because I want to torture you but I am probably to far away to do anything fun…

**Q. Will Tony and Kate kiss soon?**  
A. Maybe. Actually the truth is that I don't know because I'm an idiot. And, NO you can't get that in writing.

**Q. How'd ya do on ur Algebra test?  
**A. I got 15 out of 10. (Extra credit kicks ass!)

**Q. I now have a NCIS fic...check it out?  
**A. Sure! Why not! It's only Thursday! Wait….? BTW did I mention I have thought everyday this week was Thursday? I'm obsessed with Thursday.

**Q. Who DOESN'T like The Beatles?  
**A. Well, I have heard rumors that some remote tribes in Africa haven't heard of them and therefore can't like them but other than that… I doubt it.

**Q. When will the chocolaty hug happen?  
**A. That is for me to know and for me to tease you about and make you wonder about until you go crazy and pull out half./all of your hair.

**Q. Why did McGee get into the freezer?  
**A. I thought the treats had stopped but noooooo!

**Q. Are you on any sort of medication?  
**A. When I wrote the last chapter no but I got the flu yesterday, so I am now. Hee hee hee hee!

* * *

The freezer was getting quite cold and McGee guessed he must have been in there for about 10 seconds already, when out the corner of his eye he saw a strange shape. It appeared to be an employee as they were dressed in a red vest with the stores name on it that no one in their right (or wrong) mind would EVER wear willingly.

"Um, excuse me," The employee who was male, had scruffy red hair and glasses said, "You can't be in the freezer."

"But he has to be." Abby smiled, she seemed to be half concerned with something "He's learning what it's like to be a penguin."

The boy was confused, annoying, worried and looked like he would faint any moment.

"In fact," Abby continued, "I think you should learn too! In you go." She beckoned the boy into the freezer next to McGee.

Once the were safely in the freezers Abby turned around and walked over to a stand displaying Oreos. Once she was out of earshot, the employee muttered to McGee, "Wow. She's hot."

"Yeah… She is hot." McGee smiled.

"Who's hot?" Abby had come back within earshot for McGee's comment.

"Uh…"

"I asked 'Who'?" Abby glared.

* * *

TBC…  
I would write questions but I have the flu and I want to go lay down. 


	17. Car dancing, Godzilla and a Chocolaty Ha...

Disclaimer: Me no own. But obviously me want own however the whole point is that I don't. But want to.

**Q. Who IS hot?  
**A. Well, there is this one guy in my math class… yum, yum. Stupid but, yum, yum. And these British guys… Oh wait? Did you mean in the story?

**Q. Is Gibbs going to give the penguin coffee?  
**A. No. Well, not intentionally.

**Q. Will Abby join the boys in the freezer?  
**A. Nope.

**Q. Is the employee gonna faint?  
**A. Don't you want me to manipulate his pathetic existence some more? Please? I like what I have planned for him…

**Q. Is Abby gonna kick some McGee/Employee ass?  
**A. That depends.

**Q. Will Abby get Oreos?  
**A. No. I have the worlds supply of them in my basement so no one can have any.

**Q. Where are Sunny and Gibbs?  
**A The bullpen. Just you wait and see how Sunny helps with a case. Ye olde grasshopper.

**Q. What are Kate and Tony doing?  
**A. You'll see. Or rather read. Unless you picture it in your mind.

* * *

The first few minutes of the car ride my back headquarters were filled with uncomfortable silence and a the scent of chocolate. The scent was so strong that Kate had to open the windows to get from getting nauseous. However, the silence was interrupted when Mr. Hifton asked for music.

Normally this would be considered a simple request from a prisoner that could be granted depending on the moods of the agents in charge. Or so said the handbook.

But Kate and Tony knew it would be less than simple. Or rather they would know it in a matter of seconds.

Mr. Hifton was not at all surprised when Blue oyster cult's 'Godzilla' came on the radio and Kate quickly changed the station.

"Hey!" Tony yelped. He did not recognize this music and it was giving him a slight headache.

"What?"

"I want to listen to 'Godzilla'! That's what!" He turned the station back.

"No." Kate replied and turned it back to her station.

Tony flipped it back.

Kate reached forward and returned it to her station which was now playing 'Godzilla'

Tony smiled mischievously at Kate as she flipped through the stations only to find that the only two not playing 'Godzilla' were playing some rap song that she did not like. Tony was bopping about enthusiastically (Note: I spelled enthusiastically right on the FIRST try!) to the music.

It was a classic 'Car dance' in where he was bouncing his butt and upper torso along - well rather closely- to the beats in the song. Kate turned back to see if she could get Mr. Hiftons support in turning off the music but her hopes were maliciously killed when she discovered him doing a slightly more disturbing car dance than Tony. She wouldn't have believed it possible.

She leaned back in her seat and sighed huffily, her eyes glaring off into the horizon. The horizon, it was so peaceful. It almost made her forget that Tony was making a complete fool of himself and she was sitting next to him. It did make her forget that he was covered in chocolate.

And Kate did not see as a chocolate covered hand slowly made it's way across the front of the car and in front of her face. She did notice when the still liquid chocolate hit her face, however.

"What the hell, Tony?" She half yelped, jumping up in the seat.

"You owe me twenty bucks." Tony announced to Mr. Hifton, he seemed over his earlier embarrassment. Maybe it wasn't embarrassment Kate mused.

"That was not dancing." Mr. Hifton replied.

"Yes it was!"

"No."

"No it wasn't Tony. Keep your eyes on the road." Kate instructed sucking the edge of her thumb upon dipping it in the chocolate.

"Are you two sure you aren't dating?" Mr. Hiftons asked a few moments later.

"We never said we weren't." Tony joked only to be punched by Kate.

* * *

TBC…

Is that long enough for you?  
Guess what?  
I said 'guess what'?  
Guess god damn it!  
No, your wrong.  
Want to know what?  
Guess what?  
I said -okay let's not go through that again.  
What?  
Ah yes, what?  
And  
What will happen in future chapters?


	18. Identical Twins and Fish

Disclaimer: I own NCIS, which is why I am writing down my stories on the internet rather than putting them on the show.

Also, sorry it took so long for me to post this but my friend gave me the wrong topic of an essay I had to write in one of my classes so I had to redo to the whole thing. I had written five pages. Grrr…

Fun fact: In red cell the student they thought was the hacker (you know, in the courtyard.) was at the 'scarlet secret' website. I remember that. Do you?

Note: I've gotten to lazy to change 'Questions' into Q's. plus I still have a bit of the flu.

Q. How should we kill her?  
A. With sporks. And cheez nips.

Q. I'm a grasshopper now?  
A. Well, technically, yes.

Q. How did I not know about this?  
A. You must not be very observant, for most people in a five person poll said that they would most defiantly notice if they were turned into a grasshopper, however less than that said they would eat a grasshopper and of those surveyed only one had drank a grasshopper, but they were legal and of all they people polled all of the said they were currently not grasshoppers. Except that they were so they obviously lied on the survey and therefore the generalization of people can not be based upon these findings. The filthy liars, ruining my thirteen minutes of almost mildly hard/competent work.

Q. Does Kate have a chocolate hand print across her face?  
A. It magically disappeared.

Q. Where did you get the worlds supply of Oreos?  
A. A store… duh.

Q. Why am I 'guessing what?'?  
A. Because you like to do as I say since you recognize that I am an all powerful force that could easily and without regret force feed you Oreo's. But you'd probably enjoy that so I won't.

Question: Will Kate and Tony meet Sunny?  
A. Maybe.

Question: Do we ever get to hear a Ducky lecture?  
A. Depends what about.

Question: What type of shampoo does Sunny use?  
A. The type Kate uses

Question: What type do YOU use?  
A. This weird concoction that my friend makes.

* * *

Gibbs had placed Sunny at Tony's desk and had to admit that, although the quality of Sunny's was not quite that of Tony's the penguin acted like Tony.

Twice now women had walked up to Sunny and both times sunny had stared at their breasts, and just a few minutes ago Sunny gotten on to the internet and accessed the 'scarlet secret' website Tony had book marked while working on one of their cases.

However something about Sunny was much different, it wasn't the feathers, or the beak but whenever Sunny did something stupid and/or outrageous Gibbs did not feel the need to slap him upside the head.

Suddenly Sunny begun to squawk. This was not an ordinary penguin. He had accessed a website for a fish market and Gibbs felt the bird was hungry.

He looked at the screen and noticed something- their had been a picture in the latest victims pocket of a man. That man was in the picture on the websites homepage, he was proudly displaying a fish. He looked at the mans name, Alfred Hifton. Wait… he looked like John Hifton. Exactly like John Hifton. Suddenly Gibbs realized something.

John Hifton must have an identical twin. If he had an identical twin the DNA would be the same. Butt prints would not be.

He took out his phone and called Abby who had not yet returned.

"_Hello Boss!"_ Abby said sounding rather annoyed. McGee was muttering mindlessly in the back round.

"Abby get here in 15 minutes and bring McGee! I have another lead thanks to Sunny."

"_Really? Sunny helped you? Alright!" _Abby was quite enthusiastic.

"Yes. You'll have to do a butt print when you get here."

"_On the copy machine?"_

"No. Of John Hifton's identical twin!"

"_Wow. Didn't see that one coming."_

Gibbs hung up before Abby could say more.

"Come on, Sunny" Gibbs picked up the penguin, "were going to get you some fish and a murder suspect."

* * *

TBC…

Did you see that coming?  
Will Abby leave McGee in the freezer?  
Who is the murderer?  
What type of fish will Sunny get?  
What will happen when Abby performs butt print tests?  
How will that work?  
And  
What will happen on Tuesday's episode?


	19. Peanut Butter with an Emphasis on Nut

Disclaimer: I own my tv. I do not however, own any images that appear on that screen This includes but is not limited to: Viagra, Parmesan Cheese, Sony, CSI, NCIS and Fear Factor.

I have decided that allowing you to know what questions go with what answer is to boring so, I will put the questions here for you to read and give them a number. The Answers to the questions will have letters. One answer will not be the answer to anything. The solution appears after the questions after TBC…

(1) What did happen while McGee was drunk?  
(2) Do I get any of Sunny's fish?  
(3) Does McGee have frostbite yet?  
(4) Will this turn into a musical?  
(5) What WILL happen in tonight's episode?

(a) If I don't get to sing in public they don't either!  
(b) Only if you make me some sort of chocolate treat  
(c) Read the chapter and find out.  
(d) We all know the answer to this one so I shall put… llamas.  
(e) Maybe. BTW this is not the trick answer.  
(f) Lots of stuff. He just wasn't aware of any of it.

* * *

"Come on McGee." Abby pulled him out of the freezer, "And you too." She grabbed the workers outfit.

"Umm…?" McGee asked wondering about the butt print he had just heard about.

They were soon at a checkout counter where Abby scanned the peanut butter herself, left the money and dragged McGee out of the store. The employee was very confused and decided that they were most defiantly government people. Whatever they did he was glad he didn't. Penguins? They weren't his thing at all. He could however, get used to working with the girl.

He watched their car pull violently out of the spot Abby had parked it in and did not notice as a few teenagers removed a small fishing boat from the store. He was to hypnotized.

The teenagers left quickly as well.

Abby was slightly hunched over the wheel driving at about 60 miles an hour, McGee had opened the peanut butter and was attempting to remove the gum and although it worked quite well he was now coated in it.

"Abby?"

She didn't respond.

"Do you still want to know who's hot?"

She looked at him then to the road an waved wildly. They had stopped at a red light and across the street from them was Gibbs and something in a car seat. Gibbs was looking at McGee, it wasn't everyday you saw an agent covered in peanut butter.

The light turned green and both Abby and Gibbs punched on the gas but Abby and McGee's trip lasted only 13 more seconds before they hit another red light. Slowly a car pulled up next to them.

In that car was Mr. Hifton, Tony and Kate. Between Tony and McGee Abby was vaguely reminded of Reese peanut butter cups with emphasis on the nut.

"Your hot." McGee said and Abby's attention was suddenly on him

"What?"

"You're the one who we said was hot." McGee said this with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.

* * *

TBC…

Will McGee do something wildly stupid?  
Will Tony do something wildly stupid?  
How many questions were you able to match to their answers?  
And  
Will anyone give me something sugary?

Answer:  
1- f  
2- b  
3- c  
4- a  
5- d  
Trick Answer: E  
P.S. I lied. It was the trick answer.


	20. The Invention of Fire

Disclaimer: Me? Own? Me think-ith not.

A/N: Sorry I didn't update sooner but my math teacher decided to go to AFRICA and our sub couldn't tell 'x' from '19,378,390,389'. I swear he was sooooo stupid. So, anyway to make a long story short, he was teaching us chapter one and were currently in chapter 11... So, I was busy keeping up with math. They were assigning like 100 math problems each night and although they were easy they decided to make us show ALL of our work so it was extremely time consuming. Plus, I'm lazy.

* * *

Penguins are used to getting everything they want, even from people like Gibbs'.

Ever since the first caveperson went out and saw a penguin, the penguins instinctively knew that this creature that stood on two legs and made strange grunting noises could be used to their advantage. The caveperson brought the penguin home and noticing it was cold, invented fire. It wasn't until nearly a thousand years later they thought of cooking stuff with fire.

After they thought of that it was mostly fish they cooked on fires because fish were easy to catch plus, penguins liked them.

Gibbs' didn't know why there was a baby seat in the storage closet and he didn't know how he instinctively knew how to put it in correctly, and he didn't know why this penguins affected him so greatly.

He was also rather confused as to why Tony was covered in chocolate (He had seen them coming around a corner.) and why McGee was covered in peanut butter, yet it made sense somehow.

They had been driving for only an hour now and he had gotten a lot of time to think. Not about anything particular. When he heard Sunny squawking furiously he knew they had arrived.

He got out of the car and unloaded Sunny from the car seat putting a bomb dog jacket on him. Evidently they were using Chihuahuas as bomb dogs judging by the size.

Sunny could get used to this.

* * *

TBC… 


	21. The Hot Bug Dude

Disclaimer: I have decided NOT to put a disclaimer. You'll just have to guess whether or not I own it. HA!

P.S. I'm adding TWO chapters today because… I am getting an 'A' in EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY CLASSES! Me being the over-achieving slacker that I am, decided to pester all my teachers until they told me my grade in their class.

* * *

"Oh good." Abby said smiling. 

"You're not mad?"

"Of course not! Do you think I'd get mad about someone saying I was hot?" Abby looked at McGee, "I would have been mad if you were talking about Angelina Jolie or that one girl on CSI, you know the annoying one that's always doing something to upset the other girl who's totally in love with that one dude. You know the hot bug guy?" This shocked McGee, first of all, Abby was far from mad or shocked or anything else he had been expecting and second of all Abby watched CSI? It didn't seem like her type of show.

Well, now that he thought about it CSI did have some components that seemed Abby-ish…

Dead people, DNA, fingerprints, a -to quote Abby- a "hot bug dude". Lab tech who seemed slightly insane.

Weird.

* * *

TBC… 

What will happen in the next chapter?  
Will I ever get a pet?  
A pet penguin perhaps?  
If you want to give me a penguins could you let me know?  
Please?  
Why did it take me (I'm not kidding here.) 18 tries to spell please?  
And…  
What will Abby do about 'butt prints'?

p.s. I was looking at the CBS fall schedual, and forgive my spelling here because I've already uploaded this and am typing this without a spell cheacker, and they ahve something called 'crimetime saturday' and I'm not sure what it is but whenI slid my mouse over it it showed a picture of someone from every crime show CBS has so,I think they will show a random Crime show in those slots. (One starts a 8 the other at 9.) anyways, thought you might like to hear my obsses over stuff.

p.s. again,I love season finales except thatI don't want anyone to die from NCIS. But if it has to be someone, let it be McGee. Even though I love him. Or Jimmy! Even though he's not an agent. Let them kill Jimmy:)


	22. A Penguin Named Sunny

Recycled-disclaimer-randomly-chosen-from-a-previous-chapter-for-your-reading-pleasure: _I own nothing except John Hifton. But I don't want to own John Hifton because he is kind of ugly and would never strip in chocolate. Anyone want him? - _A vat of chocolate

* * *

Kate was not happy.

Meaning that she had been unhappy but now she was. Maybe it wasn't happy so much as amused.

The chocolate on her face was drying (she doubted it would have the same effects as a facial) and Tony had put in CD. Blue oyster cult. 'Godzilla' was playing for the 8th time in a row.

Then she had seen Abby's car. It was a black BMW, although it looked like something Tony would drive it fit Abby's attitude.

Then Kate had seen McGee. McGee was covered in Peanut butter.

And now her phone was ringing. Kate had a normal ring, like that of a stationary phone, it made it easy to tell which was her ring.

Gibbs' phone beeped, Tony's played some song that sounded vaguely like 'Godzilla', McGee's phone played 'Strawberry fields forever', Abby's phone played the exorcist theme, and Ducky didn't have a phone. Random people on the streets very rarely had a normal ring.

Then the ringing stopped and Tony's music stopped only to be replaced by a much sinister sound.

"Hello, this is Kate's cell phone." Tony said in a sad attempt to mimic Kate's voice.

"Hey give me my phone Tony!" She lunged at him, well as much as the safety belt would let her.

"_Give her the Phone Tony"_ It was Abby on the other line.

"Fine, fine." He handed the phone to Kate mumbling something that sounded like, 'to possessive' and 'peanut butter'

"_Is the guy in the back seat of your car the other Mr. Hifton?"_ Abby asked before Kate could speak.

"Yeah, Wait- what do you mean 'other'?"

"_Sunny found Your Mr. Hiftons identical twin. I get to do a butt print test!" _A butt print test? Abby was going to have fun today, thought Kate, but then she realized something, Special agent Sam 'Sunny' Frintz was in Ohio.

"Sunny? Special agent Sunny is in Ohio how did he know about the case?"

"_Not him! The penguin. Oh, hey I have to go." _There was a click.

"Tony?" Kate turned to him, "What do you know about a penguin named Sunny?"

"A penguin? I had a pet penguin once!" came a reply from the back seat, whilst Tony looked confused.

* * *

TBC…  
I don't want to write more questions….. 


	23. Penguin Care for Dummies

Recycled-disclaimer-randomly-chosen-from-a-previous-chapter-for-your-reading-pleasure: _I have verified that the confetti I got was the letter I sent them. So, I guess that I still don't own them. -_Butt Prints and More

* * *

Ducky was in autopsy looking at the body with the butt print on it. He then moved over to the goose. Yes it had been a strange day.

Only a few minutes ago had he started the autopsy on the young girl only to find out that an autopsy didn't need to be done. No, the young girl was not alive but she had never been living. It was an extremely realistic model of a dead human, it had fooled Ducky, every detail was correct everything was perfect.

So now the girl was in Abby's lab. It had been hard to put her into an evidence bag but with the help of three janitors, it had been done.

He had stuck five sticky notes on the bag explaining what had happened and a short story about a few whales migrating the wrong direction because of a fake whale.

It was rather interesting.

But now Ducky was on a mission. Gibbs' had a big responsibility now. A penguin. Penguins were very manipulative and required lots of attention, Ducky knew this first hand and had been talking to jimmy about it.

Poor Jimmy. He had forgotten that his mother was getting a cavity filled and had wanted company. He had left in a great hurray. Ducky was glad more people were taking care of their mothers now a days, though he had sworn Jimmy's mother lived in New York…

"Ah-ha!" He said a loud pulling out a book.

This was just what Gibbs would need, '_Penguin care for Dummies_'.

* * *

TBC…

What will happen at the fish market?  
What will happen when Abby needs to get the 'body' out of the bag?  
Will the book be helpful at all?  
When will the butt printing begin?  
And  
What do sporks have to do with this story?  
P.s. There really are sporks in the story.


	24. Mostly Tony's Pants

Recycled-disclaimer-randomly-chosen-from-a-previous-chapter-for-your-reading-pleasure: I don't own. But, if you would like to buy it for me I'm not opposed. - Frozen Says Hot

Also, I have a dance performance this weekend, so anyway. I am kinda tired, but avoiding homework because you guys are sooo, much less boring than homework.

Also, also, sorry if this sounds really weird, I had a cavity (I secretly think not, because my dentist hates me.) so I'm on pain killers. Or something that works just as well because I can't move my face.

Stupid dentist, probably gave me Botox injections instead.

Also, also, also, I can't believe they killed KATE. I have a male friend and that's the whole reason he watches the show (that and the guns.), they will have a drugged-up, sleep deprived, fan hunting them with a spork.

Also, also, also, also, I am the drugged-up, sleep deprived, fan incase you didn't catch into that.

Also, also, also, also, also, I wasn't going to post this for a couple days but, after seeing alst nights episode, I wanted to write something that wasn't depressing becauseI knew there would be a lot of those and i have smile in my dances...

Also, also, also, also, also, also, I am doing three dances, (It's recital,I don't do plays because i like chagne and spontenatity.) One is to something I can't type because I don't know the name, 'Money' By Pink Floyd and 'Lovely Rita' By The Beatles.

* * *

Tony entered the NCIS building while Kate brought in Mr. Hifton, well one of them. Tony scurried down to his gym locker where he kept some spare clothes, unfortunately, McGee had already been there.

Upon Abby's advice, McGee had replaced Tony's gym shorts with Abby's sweat pants, leaving a note explaining what he had done. McGee had also, put Tony's pants on the hook outside the window, he had briefly considered wearing them, but thought that might be pushing it.

As Tony opened his locker he gasped. With his eyes closed and face turning a bright shade of red, he put on Abby's pants and left the gym, chocolate shirt, face and all. He didn't want to know if anything else had been replaced.

"Tony!" He heard a voice from behind, it was very British sounding so, he reasoned, it must be Ducky.

"Yes?" He turned around, almost enjoying the look on Ducky's face.

"I thought you might like to know that your gym shorts were hung from a window and are now blowing down the street."

"McGee." He muttered.

Only McGee wouldn't secured pants properly, Abby would have chained them, Gibbs would have just destroyed them, Kate would have put them in a more creative spot, And Ducky wouldn't have taken them unless Gibbs of Abby asked him to.

But where would McGee be? Abby's lab.

Tony scurried quickly to avoid the stares of confusion at his pants. Many in the building wondered what was going on with this team, what with wearing each others pants and OH MY GOD! Was that Tony DiNozzo covered in CHOCOLATE?

"McGee?" He asked peeking his head in, only to jump up "Abby!" She was not wearing pants, normally this would have excited Tony but McGee was there too, and he wasn't wearing pants either. Well, to be fair McGee was almost wearing pants, the pair Abby had been wearing and she was reaching for a spare skirt. Tony often wondered if Abby had everything in her lab.

"What's going on?" Kate stepped into the lab behind Tony who was staring in shock at Abby and McGee, "Is he going to wear your pants again?" she continued sitting down in a chair. V "and is Tony wearing your pants Abby?" By now both Abby and McGee were fully clothed.

"Yeah he is, I made McGee take Tony's gym shorts once I saw he was covered in chocolate." She stood up and waved her hand in front of Tony's face. "Hello? You okay?" He blinked.

"Kate, I think he needs to go see Ducky." McGee laughed.

"Here," Kate beckoned McGee and Abby over, "Help me carry him."

* * *

TBC…  
When will there be butt prints?  
Will Tony ever recover from seeing McGee in just his underwear?  
Will the pretty colors ever go away….?  
Woo-waa-poop-pop-poopy- moooooo!  
And  
asio' hgd';ajkdguofhgua?

P.s. in Lovely Rita I wear a Flapper Dress:) Some people are mail men, but not me! And this one dude wears spandex. I love seeing guys try and remain manly in spandex. So very amussing.


	25. Sam and Ella

Recycled-disclaimer-randomly-chosen-from-a-previous-chapter-for-your-reading-pleasure: _Guess what? I own it! Although, 'it' is not necessarily NCIS _- How it feels to be a penguin

* * *

Sunny and Gibbs walked over to a counter displaying some of the many varieties of fish surrounding them, most penguins would have attacked the first thing they saw, but Sunny wasn't most penguins. He had his eyes set of some fish that was being guarded by Mr. Hifton, specifically $25 a pound Swordfish.

"I'd like five pounds of that, please." Gibbs stared at Mr. Hifton who carefully wrapped it up and put it into a small cooler filled with ice and handed it to Gibbs.

"You really like that penguin, don't you? It's like your kid?" Mr. Hifton chuckled taking the $125 from Gibbs.

"Yeah, I guess he is. You got any kids?" His hand was moving towards his badge.

"No, but I have two cats, Sam and Ella." He chuckled again, "Didn't mean to name 'em that but…" His voice trailed off.

"You should find someone to talk care of your cats for a bit, your under arrest."

Mr. Hifton nodded and followed Gibbs out to where his car was parked and sat in the back patiently while Gibbs installed the car seat in the front.

He laid out the fish for Sunny who nibbled carefully on it all the way back to NCIS head quarters.

* * *

TBC…. 


	26. Blindness and the Bulge

Disclaimer: None. Yet.

ATTENTION! THE FOLLOWING IS A SCHEME OF MINE TO GET LOTS OF REVEIWS BECAUSE, LETS FACE IT, I'M A REVIEW WHORE!

Make up a disclaimer and post it as a review! I will use them all unless some of them are SUPER sucky.

Note: I wrote two chapters before I got to this one. The others were pretty stupid. Like as in un-funny an not creative.

* * *

Kate, McGee and Abby somehow managed to get the dazed Tony to autopsy and onto a table they were all slightly exhausted. Fortunately they were all un-exhausted enough to eat some chocolate cake Ducky had made. It had vanilla frosting. And three layers, they all noted this very quickly. 

Ducky stood over Tony with a lamp in his face.

The lamp was quite warm and soon Tony was swatting at it attempting to get it away. Sensing this, Ducky removed the light and shown it upon Jimmy, who, had just gotten back from his mothers dentist appointment.

A spot shown inside Tony's eyelids where the lamp had etched an orange-ish blob. He would be lucky if he didn't go blind. How he would hate being blind. Girls would be just voices, he would no longer be able to look at their lush, full legs. Or their breasts. Mmmm… how he would miss those should he go blind.

Suddenly his day dreaming was interrupted by Abby yelling (Or maybe she was just saying it loudly.) "Look!"

The chocolate cake was forgotten as all gather around Tony gawking at his pants. He opened his eyes and realized what they were staring at; the growing bulge in his pants.

He rolled over and silently begun to weep. Kate would NEVER let this go.

* * *

TBC…. 


	27. Standard Procedure

Disclaimer: Gibbs is mine, Tony is mine, Kate is mine, Abby is mine and Ducky is mine, too. If you don't like it, screw yourself. This Disclaimer brought to you by: Cerasi J

Disclaimer #2: If I owned them, do you think id be sitting here freezing my ass off? no I think not! I'd be over there, thinking up better storylines rather than killing Kate off! like Penguins and Unicycles! This disclaimer brought to you by: Charmed-angel4

ATTENTION! THE FOLLOWING IS A SCHEME OF MINE TO GET LOTS OF REVEIWS BECAUSE, LETS FACE IT, I'M A REVIEW WHORE!  
Make up a disclaimer and post it as a review! I will use them all unless some of them are SUPER sucky.

Also, I'm pet sitting the neighbors pets, Betty and Billy. They are goats. How cool is that? By the way, I'm thinking about feeding them the girl in the MIT shirt. Does anyone know if their digestive systems can handle it?

* * *

As much as the team was enjoying watching Tony's face turn into a tomato, they knew their fun would have to end sometime.

But they didn't know two things.

One that their fun would be ending in a matter of seconds and that two, the fun-stopping reason would end up being more fun than watching Tony.

Abby's cell phone went off and she dived for it, and answered in her cheerful voice; "Hello, this is Abby!"

"_Butt prints now." _Was all the voice on the other end said. And Abby understood.

"Anyone want to see the Mr. Hifton's Butts? She asked cheerfully, sending Tony into a scared whimper.

"Yes, I think we all would. I am interested in finding out how this is going to be done. Really, butts are quite unique, I bet. We should take notes about it and submit it to all the forensics magazines… I'm sure they would all find it most interesting." Ducky answered for all.

"Come on." Kate said rolling Tony off the table. He shuffled behind the group as they made their way to Gibbs and a security, and Sunny.

"Where to Abby?" Gibbs asked motioning to the Hiftons.

"Oh, just in my lab. I'll be right there." She said going through Tony's desk and pulling out some bubble gum with only one piece missing. She and the rest of the team made it into the lab, where she addressed the Hiftons.

"It is standard procedure for them to watch, okay? So, I'll need your full cooperation. They have guns."

McGee glared in an almost, slightly, threatening way at them.

"So, I'll need to you take off your pants and drop the back of whatever undergarments you choose to wear and if it's woman's underwear, that's O.K. because I'm wearing Boxers."

Tony choked back a bit of a laugh. Then just plain out laughed as he saw The chocolate Factory Hiftons Bright Pink boxers, that seemed to made out of silk. But his laughing soon turned to amazement.

"Wow! I'm wearing that same type of boxers as you!" Abby smiled, "Now, If you'll both turn around I will put some of this paint on you and then get your prints, okay?"

The sound of the roller resonated throughout the lab, and so did Tony's laughing.

"Tony, If you can't behave in a professional manner…" Abby started.

"I'm leaving." He gasped.

Abby picked up two pieces of paper and stuck them to the two men's bottoms and instructed them to sit down in a chair, so she didn't have to rub them, and both did as she said.

Abby peeled back the papers and set them down to dry.

"Thank you that will be all." They pulled up their pants and were escorted by Gibbs and the guard to different holding cells.

* * *

TBC…. 


	28. Kate and Temporary Mild Hate

Disclaimer #1: guess what? if you recognize it, its probably mine. kno why? 'cause i probably stole it. and you kno why? 'cause i'm just hard core like that! but you kno what? none of this means that its mine, or that i stole it if it really is or isn't mine, or that i am or am not really hard core like that! Disclaimer by: Padfoot'sCelticPuzzleStrangerRangerGrl

Disclaimer #2: I do not own NCIS. I do not own NCIS. -glances around, making sure doctor in white coat isn't still listening.- I shall own it all! IT WILL BE MINE! Disclaimer by: EquestrianBabe

Hello, everyone! I'm sorry this chapter took so long but I was in Seattle. I went with my school and it was fun. Especially when our group went to Starbucks and because our group all liked NCIS (Except for this one girl.) we gave our names as;  
Kate  
Spanky  
Ducky  
Gibbs  
And….  
Abby  
Spanky was because of SWAK when Gibbs tells Tony to change the number of his cell because women keep calling for 'Spanky'.  
Can you guess what name I was? Answer after TBC…  
Hint: We choose the names because of our personalities.

* * *

"I have to go to the bathroom." Tony announced rather loudly, only moments after Gibbs had come back. Gibbs looked at him for a moment wondering why Tony was still standing there, then gave the helpful suggestion of; Then go.

"So…" Kate begun looking at Sunny who was sitting near Gibbs, finishing off the rest of the fish, "This is Sunny?"

"Yup."

"Care to explain?"

"Nope. There's nothing to explain. I found a penguin and Abby named him Sunny."

Gibbs' answer did not please Kate. She had expect something, well, she didn't know what she would have expected but, it defiantly wasn't that.

Gibbs picked up Sunny and sat him down in Tony's chair, where, Kate noted that the penguin, who she wasn't to fond of (although she too, had to agree Sunny was mighty cute), and would not call Sunny, made himself comfortable quickly.

"I'm back!" Sang Tony swinging his chair around only to screech upon seeing Sunny.

"Okay, move it." Tony instructed the penguin after regaining his composer. Sunny did not move. "Playing tough are you? Well, your small and fluffy and I can take you on."

The was becoming rather amusing.

As Tony reached for Sunny, Sunny nipped at him making Tony jump back.

"Sit on the floor Tony." Gibbs said and Tony sunk to the ground mumbling "Yes, sir"

It was then Kate admitted to himself that, maybe, Sunny wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

TBC….

What will happen to Sunny?  
Will Tony's butt get quite sore?  
Which Hifton was it?  
Whose boxers were they?  
Will Kate tell Abby about the Penguin?  
And…  
Will there be any cruel Iguana jokes?

Who was I?  
I was, and this may come as a shock, Spanky (Tony).  
Why: Well, apparently I am some how like Tony, but also, Spanky is my nickname. Don't ask.


	29. Pop Quiz and The Story Continues

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS. No penguins were harmed in the writing of this fan fic. But a couple of badgers were. Thank you. BY: Cerasi J

So, I've decided to start answering your ever so urgent questions again.

**Q. Why haven't you asked any questions in ages?  
**A. I don't know. Would you like questions? I think you would. There is a pop quiz for you after the TBC and questions. I expect it to be answered promptly. (Via Review.)

**Q. Will Sunny become Director of NCIS?  
**A. No, if he does we can't have some mindless entertainment I have planned for you, wherein, now don't get to depressed, I know you will all hate me for doing this but… Tony has to strip, but not in chocolate. But if you'd rather have Sunny as the director…

**Q. Will Sunny have triplet Penguin babys?  
**A. No. Sunny is male. Hmm… let me see if I can explain this. Grabs Ken and Barbie heads When a man loves a woman, well he doesn't HAVE to love her but sometimes he does. Anyways….

**Q. Why doesn't Tony sit on Kate?  
**A. Because He'll get cooties. Duh?

**Q. What is Kate gonna tell Abby about the Penguin?  
**A. Lots. Then Abby will tell her something about something… then they will talk about chocolate.

**Q. newayz, when will you post more?  
**A. Now?

**Q. What are sum of you favorite things?  
**A. Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages tied up with strings, these are a few of my favorite things….  
Tony in chocolate and Sunny the penguin, Tate and more Tate and Penguins galore, Scaring the patrons are star bucks a lot. These are a few of my favorite things….  
iPods and The Beatles and Abby and Ducky, Snickers and Matty (really hot dude), and Gibbs drinking coffee, Seeing Kate and Tony fight, these are a few of my favorite things!  
When the cheese cuts!  
When the penguin flys!  
When I'm feeling… Fuzzy?  
I simple remember my favorite things and then I don't feel sooo, un-fuzzy?

**Q. Do you have to wear spandex during your dance recitals?  
**A. Sometimes. I love watching guys try and act manly while wearing spandex. I had to wear some last recital and during our split line it ripped right up the crouch, but that's not the worst part. Our dance begun with the split line and It was five minutes long. Luckily we were wearing skirts too but, still. It wasn't so horrid though, three other peoples ripped to.

* * *

Naturally Abby likes her lemonade sour. Kate likes hers with fake sweetener. So, when they get together and drink lemonade it is sour in the pitcher and Kate adds her sweetener once it's in her cup. Both of them like ice. Abby more than Kate.

Naturally when Abby couldn't get the fake body out of the bag, she called the janitors. When Kate saw the janitors heading into Abby's lab she became curious and followed. Tony had quickly taken her seat.

And of course knowing Kate would come in two lawn chairs were set up cushioned by Kates clothes. Abby was over by the sink making lemonade.

"Okay, I need you guys to get this out of that." Abby gestured whilst pouring the yellow-ish liquid into two glasses and carrying over the pitcher and such over on a silver platter.

"Kate and I will be watching to make sure you don't kill the evidence or something." Abby smiled and sat down next to Kate.

That was how the had ended up watching four janitors attempt to get a fake body out of a bag. Abby and Kate clicked glasses and silently thanked that the janitors had cute butts. Had they not known better they would have thought that they were football players.

Which they might have been. It was rumored that all the janitors got together every night and played tackle football. Kate and Abby had yet to prove this though they did not doubt it.

Abby stood up and got them both a straw. Kate secretly wondered what else Abby had in her lab. Then again, maybe she didn't want to know.

* * *

TBC…

Pop quiz!  
This quiz is ten questions long, and five are multiple choice. Two are about this story, six are about NCIS in general and Two are just to test your basic knowledge. Good luck!

Note: this quiz is not manditory unless your username is Charmed-angel4. If your would like to take the quiz please do so. If you would like to know how many questions you got wrong please post your answers ina reveiws because once again, I am being a reveiw whore.

1. What is Tony's nickname?  
a. Spanky  
b. Iggy  
c. Anty  
d. George

2. What is 1+4?  
a. 4  
b. 2  
c. 987304739057203420934720392758365827  
d. None of the above

3. What is Gibbs' fave drink?  
a. Water  
b. Tea  
c. Coffee  
d. Gibbs' doesn't drink anything. He's a machine.

4. Who is the British dude?  
a. Ducky  
b. Sunny  
c. Fishy  
d. Bob

5. What is the penguins name?  
a. Sunny  
b. Ducky  
c. Tuxedo  
d. Tony

6. What is the name of this story?

7. Who has Gun powder scented perfume?

8. Who is the host of Jeopardy?

9. What are the names of the AGENTS?

10. Who may have a rose tattoo?


	30. Styrofoam, Salmon and Sunny

Disclaimer: Um… Yeah, I own it. Yeah… Uh.. I've got to go before a copyright lawyer or something shows up, to sue/kill me… Uh… yeah. Bye….

Pop Quiz scores;  
What you got wrong are in parenthesis.  
Padfoot'sCelticPuzzleStrangerRangerGrl: **9.5/10 **(You get half credit for 8.)  
Charmed-angel4: **5/10 **(2, 3, 4, 5, 8 You got the right answers for 2 and 3 mixed up and that was the same for questions 4 and 5.)  
csigirlie156: **9/10 **(10)  
littlecate: Quiz a) **8.5/10 **(8, 10. I'm giving you half credit for 10.) Quiz b) **0/10 **(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,8 ,9, 10)  
Cerasi J: **9/10 **(9. You forgot to put down Gibbs as an agent.)

* * *

Gibbs, Tony and McGee all sat at their desks. Well, except for Tony. He was still at Kate's desk and was probably not working but instead thinking up ways to get rid of Sunny. Only 30 minutes ago he had stumbled upon the perfect plot and had cackled evilly, and quite loudly. 

McGee was the first to notice the plan being put into action. A delivery was casually through the door and was carrying a Styrofoam box that was labeled "Perishable". McGee watched this man carefully as he made his way to the desks.

"Is Tony DiNozzo here?" Asked the, in McGee's Humble opinion, butt ugly male.

"Yes! That would me be! Is that my.." Tony's voice dropped a bit, hoping Gibbs wouldn't hear him, "Salmon?"

"Yup! You paid by credit card so all I need you to do is sign here" He indicated at a piece of paper "And I'll put this somewhere for you."

"Right on the floor will be fine, um… if you could do me a favor and lay it out, that would be great." Tony showed the delivery man a 50 dollar bill and quickly got his wish. With the fish all laid out Tony sat back a prepared to watch sunny leave to eat the fish and then, Tony would get his seat back. He saw a bit of movement out of the corner of his eye! Yes! This was it! Tony moment of glory had come Sunny was sniffing in the general direction of the fish and… Wasn't going after it?

This confused Tony. Sunny was snubbing the fish? The fresh fish? What a stupid penguin. McGee was laughing and Gibbs was glaring. Gibbs took out his phone and called one of the receptionists.

"Can you send a few janitors please?"

"_I'm sorry Agent Gibbs but they are all bust right now, a lot of them are in Abby's lab helping her with something I don't know she said it was confidential… Something to do with evidence stuck in a bag I guess. I don't really know what they would be doi-"_

Gibbs hung up looking annoyed. "Tony! Clean up this mess, or at least start. I'm going to get some janitors. McGee go down to interrogation."

"Uh... Why boss?

"Because I said to." McGee ran off quickly, while Tony laughed at him instead of cleaning, it was a mistake considering Gibbs was standing right behind him. Tony felt a rather hard slap to the back of his head onlyseconds later.

* * *

TBC…. 


	31. Interrogations Part 1

The Lie: I own NCIS!

The Wish: I want to own NCIS!

The Question: Will you buy it for me?

* * *

Eighty years from now Tim McGee would look back at this and laugh. He would laugh lots. He would laugh until his eyes popped out and his brain exploded. Then he would laugh at that. But, in situations like this one does not usually find ones self laughing. They find themselves wishing that a) they were invisible and b) Just in general not here. 

McGee thought back to the moment he had heard the news.

"Hello?" He answered his phone, cheerfully. Both of the Hiftons were ready to be interrogated by Gibbs - McGee had taken the initiative and gotten everything ready.

"_McGee, you'll have to do the interrogations. We Tony, Kate, Abby and I have to take a quick trip to the zoo."_ Gibbs did not say why and hung up. McGee knew it had something to do with Sunny, no doubt, but what? (Or, he thought to himself, maybe Kate had finally convinced Gibbs that it was really where Tony belonged.) There was no urgency in Gibbs' voice and he could hear Abby and Kate laughing in the background. Were they having fun without him? Well, Maybe Kate and Abby. On the call he thought he might have heard quiet whimpering.

Whatever it was, he didn't care. He was going to do an interrogation! His first! He was quite honored. Even Kate and Tony rarely were allowed.

But which Hifton did he want to do first? That was easy! The one that worked in a chocolate factory. McGee didn't care for the smell of fish, and Gibbs might be back to do that Hifton if he waited.

* * *

TBC… 


	32. The Zoo Part 1

The Lie: I don't own Sunny

The Wish: I his I had a pet penguin

The Question: Will you buy/steal one for me?

* * *

After getting all the janitors to clean up the fish, Gibbs was finally ready to interrogate the Hifton's. However, it appeared that Tony and Kate were not.

Tony was still trying to get Sunny out of his chair, and Kate (Along with Abby) was laughing at him.

"What is it with you and Sunny?" Abby asked between laughs.

Before Tony could respond Kate responded.

"What is it with him and animals?"

"Wait, he doesn't get along with dogs, iguanas and penguins… Anything else?" Abby had been counting the animals off on her fingers but had ended up with four fingers up instead of three. Using her other hand she put one of the fingers down, starting another giggle fit from her and Kate.

"Squirrels and spiders." Kate wheezed.

Suddenly Abby became quite serious, "spiders? What's wrong with spiders? Their helpful, interesting, cute…" Her voice trailed off. "You know Tony, I think you need to get in touch with animals. Let go to the zoo!" She jumped up and down excitedly.

Tony was about to argue when Gibbs' stepped in. "I think that would be great." He turned to Sunny "I'll drop you off with Uncle Ducky and," He turned to Tony, Kate and Abby, "you three can go get the van." He tossed the keys in the air making all three dive for them.

* * *

Out in the parking lot Gibbs realized he had forgotten to call McGee and tell him of their plans. While he talked, a spider crawled on Tony, making him whimper and the girls laugh.

Abby had called shotgun leaving Tony and Kate in the back, after about fifteen minutes of relatively quiet driving Abby asked a question Gibbs dreaded. "Are we there yet?"

"Abby, the nearest zoo is 30 away, but it sucks so were going to the next closest which is three hours away." Everyone groaned.

They were quiet for another five minutes until Tony spoke.

"I'm hungry." He announced loudly, "and look!" Tony was quite excited now, "there's a McDonalds!" He pointed out the window.

"Eww…" Kate and Abby replied in unison.

"I'm hungry too." Kate said "and look! There's Tofu Palace!"

Abby clapped approvingly, whilst Tony make faces.

"Were not eating at either of those places." Gibbs got on the off ramp and pulled into the dusty parking lot of a Chinese restaurant. "Stay In the car." He ordered.

About ten minutes alter he came back carrying four boxes and lots of soy sauce.

He opened the first box and handed it to Kate.

"Tofu Stir Fry!" She announced with glee, declining the soy sauce that was offered to her.

He handed the next box to Abby. "Shrimp! And Carrots!" She Hugged Gibbs and took about ten soy sauce packages.

Gibbs handed a smaller box to Tony who opened it and saw Pot stickers. He smiled and dug in.

"Want some soy sauce?" Gibbs asked.

"Yes please!" Abby said.

"Not you."

"Oh."

Tony took two packages and dumped them over his food while Gibbs did the same.

"I have three more packages of soy sauce, Abby." She took them and drank them.

"Thank you." Came her reply.

"Now, I want 30 minutes of silence."

"Can we listen to the radio?" Asked Abby, before they had pulled out of the lot.

"Yeah, sure, why not?" Gibbs turned on the radio, while the last few notes of Eleanor Rigby faded away. Then, the next song started, and Kate stopped eating in horror. It was 'Godzilla'. Tony was doing the car dance and silently laughing at Kate.

_This is going to be a long couple of hours. _Gibbs thought to himself as he swerved in and out of traffic getting the finer multiple times. Abby responded by giving them the finger.

* * *

TBC… 


	33. Interrogations Part 2

Disclaimer: I do not disclaimer that I do not own because in my mind I own and shall always own unless I do not own, so there for I shall not disclaim. I think.

Wow. I really confused myself.

* * *

The first interrogation went well… ish. As well as could be expected.

His voice kept getting dry so he had to drink a lot of water. Mr. Hifton had suggested that he should go see a doctor if he had to drink that much water but, McGee knew it was just nerves. Mr. Hifton had also asked why Tony wasn't doing the interrogation, but McGee had just brushed that off.

A few other things that came up were; Tony, DNA, More Tony and Why on earth were two of their agents dating?

McGee explained multiple times that Kate and Tony weren't dating, and eventually Hifton dropped the subject.

But then it was time for the second Hifton. Gibbs was not back yet, so McGee took a deep breath and headed into what he had decided to be a hell hole of fish.

McGee wasn't very creative sometimes, and he knew this. Gibbs wouldn't have named it at all Tony would have made up some elaborate, slightly insulting name, Kate would have just sucked it up (And McGee found this quite ironic.) Like a man. Abby didn't do interrogations but he knew she would come up with a most brilliant name and Ducky would come up with something Latin. Oh well. McGee liked his name for it. Hell hole of fish. It kind of had a ring to it. Barely, but almost.

He entered the room and immediately became nauseas. 'I will stick it out' He told himself, and that reminded him of a joke. Abby had told it to him. How did it go again? Ahh… yes, A little boy had just been circumcised and his penis was itchy. The teacher noticed him squirming in his seat and went over to him. He explained what was wrong and his teacher sent him to the office to call his mom. As he walked back into class the teacher noticed that his penis was sticking out of his pants. The teacher questioned him about this and he replied "My mom said that if I could stick it out until noon she'd come pick me up." McGee begun chuckling to himself.

Mr. Hifton stared blankly back at him.

"Sorry," McGee murmured, "I just thought of something funny" Mr. Hifton gave a weak smile and replied.

"You know what's not funny," McGee looked at Mr. Hifton, unsure of where this was going, "Vomit. Sometimes when It's inappropriate to laugh I think about throw up and I just become disgusted. It's gross and vile and sometimes green. I prefer chunky to watery."

As McGee opened his mouth to ask him to stop talking about that a milky liquid with a few chunks spurted from his mouth and onto the table. McGee ran out and into the hallway. One of the guards went in and called the appropriate people. Namely janitors.

* * *

TBC… 


	34. The Zoo Part 2

Disclaimer: Me own-ith not-ith. Ish. Hee hee hee hee hee.

Nope! It's not based off a dream although, I'm sure the coffee had something to do with it!

* * *

"The 30 minutes are up!" Abby said excitedly, pointing at the clock in the car. 

Immediately, The back seat irrupted with an argument. Sometimes Abby and Gibbs found it amazing that Tony and Kate knew what they were fighting about. After a couple minutes it died down. The radio had since been turned off and Abby was bored.

"Let's play a game." She smiled, "How about 'I Spy'" Before anyone could object she continued. "I'll start…" She looked around the van. "I spy with my little eye, something blue"

They all thought quietly about this for five seconds before Tony yelled out.

"Kate's shirt!"

"Nope!"

"Tony's tie!"

"That sticker."

"The sticker on the seat belt?"

"Nope, nuh-uh, and no." Abby shook her head.

They guessed a total of about 40 things, and surprisingly, Gibbs joined in too.

"We give up Abby." Gibbs said for the third time.

"Fine. You guys are no fun. It's Gibbs' eyes."

"That no fair!" Tony half-yelled, "We can't see his eyes."

"But we knew they were blue…" Kate murmured cursing herself for not figuring it out. "Let's play a different game."

"I have to pee." Tony announced. Naturally they were in the middle of nowhere when this happened. Gibbs just gritted his teeth.

"Can you wait for 30 minutes?" He asked almost growling.

"No, I have to go now." Tony said as if pleading for his life.

There were no other cars on the road so Gibbs pulled over to a wooded area and told Tony to be quick about it.

Tony was back a minute later complaining about how he wanted to wash his hands.

"Kate," Tony asked reaching out to touch her shoulder, "Ma-"

"Get away from me pee hands!" She scooted as far away as she could and he only scooted closer.

"Tony…" Gibbs warned.

"Yes, play nicely." Abby scolded, playfully. Then she just stopped talking. "Oh my god. I sounded like my mother. Oh my God. I'm turning into my mother." As much as Abby loved hr mom she didn't want to be her.

"Your not turning into your mother Abby." Gibbs reassured her.

"How would you know that? Have you like met her mo- You've met Abby's mom?" Tony gasped.

"I've met Kate's parents, McGee's parents, Your dad, and Ducky's mom. Thursday night I'm meeting Palmers…" Gibbs pushed on the gas pedal causing them all to lean back in their seats for a moment.

"You've met my dad? How come I didn't know about this?" Tony was shocked.

"Because your dim. Duh?" Kate smiled.

"Here's some hand sanitizer by the way." Abby handedTony a small bottle that smelled like lemons.

"Like you knew he'd met your parents." Tony sneered.

"I did."Kate told him, turning away.

"Did you Abby?" Tony asked her.

"About everyone." Abby smiled, "I went with him to meet your dad..."

"Has EVERYONE met my dad!" Tony was shcoked.

"I haven't." Came Kate's reply.

"Good. He's crazy." Tony's arms were foldedover hischest.

"I like your dad." Abby commented.She paused as if looking for the right words. "He's kinda hot too."

Tony fell over in his seat and didn't talk for a few minutes. Every once in a while Kate would poke him but he just grunted, and soon he was fast asleep.

"That was mean Abby." Gibbs scolded her.

"What was?" Kate asked.

"I've never met Tony's dad." She smiled, "But you ahve to admit, that was pretty funny."

Soon Kate and Abby were giggling madly again.

* * *

TBC…. 


	35. The Zoo Part 3

Disclaimer: I no own. Yeeeaahhh….

Wooooh!

Wow.

Oh my.

Littlecate, about your cousin; wow she is crazy. Yes, I am stalking her (duh.), but no, I can not kidnap her. My schedule is far to busy what with all the sleeping, eating and brain rotting I must squeeze in this summer, do give her my sincerest apologizes…

**Q. Gibbs has met the teams parents? why?  
**A. Why does Gibbs do anything? Coffee! That's right! So, what are you going to do? Drink coffee or boycott it! Ha! I'd like to see you make any sense out of _that_ answer. Ha! Ha! Ha!

**Q. wot were Tony and Kate arguing about newayz?  
**A. Anything, everything…

**Q. Tony's dad is hot?  
**A. Most likely. Ooohh! Wait let's ask the ouija board! That thing NEVER lies… the answer is… 'F'. there you go. 'F'

**Q. Tony a Primate? with all the grunting?  
**A. Is Tony a primate? Depends on who you ask. The grunting? Use your imagination.

**Q. How come he didn't kick Kate?  
**A. I don't know about you, but when I'm trying to go to sleep I don't like to move a lot.

**Q. why are Kate and Abby giggling so much? did they have spiked lemonade or soy sauce?  
**A. My bets are on the lemonade. By the janitors. In Abby's lab. You know what? Let's consult 'Clue' on this one. Okay, Professor mustard, in the kitchen with the rope. Darn! I lose.

**Q. are they just gonna be called 'Janitors' like the Janitor in Scrubs?  
**A. They weren't going to be regular features, but calling them janitor works pretty well. I like scrubs but I haven't watched it for a while.

* * *

After Tony had fallen asleep the team found the ride to the zoo rather peaceful, and they were now only 35 minutes away. 

"Do you think we should wake him?" Kate asked with mild concern.

"Not yet." Abby had a mischievous grin on her face as she pulled out from her purse, lipstick and eyeliner.

"Abby…" Gibbs warned her as Kate laughed a bit.

"Gibbs…" She warned him right back.

"Give me the make-up, Abby." Gibbs put his hand out then grabbed for it.

"Fine!" Abby put the make-up away exaggerating every movement and acting slightly depressed.

"What's fine?" Came a groggy voice from the back seat. Tony had woken up on his own and his hair was all messy.

"Your hair." Abby replied while Kate attempted to restrain a laugh. Then Abby begun laughing out loud and Kate erupted.

"My god, what was in that soy sauce!" Tony was slightly afraid.

"I" Kate gasped "didn't have" She paused for a moment while both caught their breath and stopped laughing, "soy sauce." the mention of say sauce sent them onto hysterics again.

"Lemonade." Gibbs said.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Tony was confused.

"They both drank lemonade while checking out the janitors."

"Which janitors?"

"You, know, the janitors."

"Them?"

"Yeah."

Kate and Abby had stopped chuckling now. They no longer found anything funny.

"Zoo, next exit!" Abby screamed. They were in the fast lane and the exit was approaching fast (duh.) .

"Hold on everyone!" Gibbs took a mad swing at the steering wheel and the flew nearly horizontally to the exit opening.

"Whee!" Abby screamed during the horizontal-ness.

Tony and Kate did not know what to make of it, only that it was Abby being Abby.

After a couple minutes of driving (not horizontally) they came to the zoo. Kate groaned seeing how long the lines were.

"We'll NEVER get in." She sighed, while Tony celebrated.

"Yes we will!" Abby smiled, "look!" At one of the ticket booths was a red haired super market employee wearing a volunteers vest. "I know him." She smiled.

They got out of the car and the volunteer waved madly at Abby and she waved madly back. He disappeared for a second and soon he and a manager came out. They were taken to the front of a line and were soon in the zoo. Abby gave the volunteer a the 'call me' signal and he just nodded, unaware they he did not have Abby's number.

"Let's see here," Gibbs was looking at a map plotting out what route they would take. "first we'll go see the lions, then tigers, then bears, th-"

"Oh my!" Abby giggled, only to be met with blank faces, "Don't tell me you've never seen the wizard of oz? Oh my gosh you haven't? Movie night at my place tonight!"

"Then, penguins, then, birds in general, then…" Gibbs listed off every animal in the zoo.

"Ohh... A petting zoo!" Kate and Abby smiled as the made their way to the lions.

"Can we go?" Gibbs nodded and the two girls got in the relatively short line.

"Come, on Tony." Gibbs said as he practically pushed Tony into line, "be a man!"

Once inside the pen Kate and Abby headed straight to a small gray goat. It was a baby and did not have horns.

Gibbs wandered about pulling Tony along with him.

"I don't like goats." Tony said after one minute. They were standing in the exact center on the petting zoo.

"They have bunnies, peacocks, pigs, ducks and…" Gibbs looked around "Baby llamas." Tony stared back at him blankly, "besides. Goats like you." Gibbs walked away while Tony wondered what it was all about.

"Tony!" Abby called from ten feet away, walking over and away from the baby goat, "Do you realize that a goat is eating you?"

He looked at her then at his jacket. A goat was chewing on it.

"Get away! This cost me $200!" Tony jumped away form the goat and promptly left the petting zoo followed by Abby.

The both sanitized their hands and waited for Gibbs and Kate who were there a few moments later.

* * *

TBC…. 


	36. McGee and The Old Lady

Disclaimer- A poem:

I do not own  
The show NCIS  
It makes me sad  
But I'll do my best

To manipulate  
The characters  
In to situations  
That are not bores

Like going to the zoo  
With Pee Hands  
All hyped up on  
Dancers of Can-can?

Let's not go there  
Tis not part of the story  
I'm going to stop now  
Before my rhymes kill you and I have to make it look like an accident and that's quite gory?

Okay. Wow. That was odd.

* * *

McGee had been told by ducky that he should go home and rest, and McGee wasn't about to disagree. But, there was one problem. He did not have his keys. Or a car for that matter.

Thank goodness Abby wasn't angry with him anymore. He had gone through his desk and found three dollars for bus fare and gone to Abby's house. He knew that she kept a spare key underneath a Venus Fly Trap on her porch. He removed the key and opened the door to her house.

Her house had a nice smell. It was a sort of mixture between lemons, vanilla and coffee. The house was dark and although McGee had been over at her house a lot she had just rearranged everything and he found it hard to get around. After stumbling over a few things he found her futon and lay down on it.

All was well for a few moments until he heard the pitter patter of little paws on the ground. Abby's dog must be up. He decided, But wait… Abby didn't have a dog…

McGee fell out of the futon and spotted a Labrador walking around. McGee looked at the door, it was wide open.

He made his way up to the dog and looked at it's tag, the dog lived down the street.

McGee took the dog by the collar and led it outside to her neighbors house where it lived.

"Who are you?" Asked the elderly lady.

"I'm Tim McGee. I found your dog." The old lady just glared at him.

"You came out of Abigail's house. Abigail does not have a boyfriend. Nobody lives with Abigail." It was then that from the lady's porch a rock hard muffin was launch right at McGee.

He ran off leaving the dog with the old lady. From Abby's house he watched as the lady went back inside. He closed the door and prepared to get some shut eye.

McGee was only asleep for a few minutes when eh heard police sirens. They stopped right outside the house and this made him curious.

Then there was a crash and three police smashed down Abby's down, their guns drawn.

"Your under arrest for breaking and entering" one of the police handcuffed McGee and lead him to a car.

"Robensont? Will you call the owner and let them know?" The arresting officer questioned.

"Yes, sir!" Was Robensont's quick reply.

* * *

TBC… 


	37. Two Birds and Jimmy

Disclaimer: If I change my name to Don Bellisario does that mean I own NCIS? It should.

Answers to questions…

(For chapter 35...)

Lemonade recipe:

Warning: I take no responsibility for injuries sustained during the making of this lemonade

Warning: Please do not actually make this lemonade. The real recipe is after the TBC…

Warning: Many lemons were hurt during the making of this lemonade.

**Ingredients/Supplies:  
**500-600 lemons  
1.736475 cups of sugar  
.1572 cups of cold water  
3.2 ice cube  
Meat grinder  
Cups or Glasses (Bifocals work best.)  
Pitcher  
Straws are optional but suggested, and, if at all possible, bendy/twisty  
10 gallon hat/tub

Step 1- grind the lemons through the meat grinder into the tub/hat which should be positioned underneath.  
Step 2- Add sugar and stir using a bendy straw  
Step 3- Add cold water  
Step 4- Put ice cubes into pitcher  
Step 5- Pour lemonade into pitcher or drink straight from hat/tub  
Step 6- If you poured it into the pitcher then pour it into cups or, glasses. If not using bifocals proceed with caution.  
(Optional) Step 7- Drink and enjoy

**Q. The answer is F?  
**A. Yup! And NO I do not need to get an new board, I asked it if I did and it said 'Z' which is defiantly not 'yes' so ha!

**Q. Why is the supermarket employee working at the zoo?  
**A. Because, Um… F. F… yeah… F. or Z.

**Q. Lol how could they not get the 'lions and tigers and bear, oh my!' bit?  
**A. I don't know. Let's ask them? Oh, everyone, except Ducky and McGee… come out come out wherever you are (and meet the young lady who fell from a star)  
Me (m): Hi everyone!  
Gibbs (g): Hi  
Tony (t): Hello!  
Kate (k): Tony what the hell?  
t: What?  
Abby (a): Hee hee  
k: hee hee  
aand k: Hysterical laughter  
m: Okay, never mind them. Tony? Gibbs? Why did you not under stand the 'lions tigers and bears oh my!' bit?  
t: Why are they laughing?  
g: I don't know. Must be some sort of chemical.  
t: Should we call the bio-hazard team?  
g: Probably.  
m: Hello? Is anyone listening to me?

Never mind. I think I'll just them back in their closet….

**Q. Why doesn't Tony like Goats? Did he have a bad experience with one when he was younger?  
**A. Maybe, maybe not. I don't know and I don't really answer that in this story…

**Q. Is Gibbs gonna pat a baby Llama?  
**A. No.

**Q. Why is the goat eating Tony?  
**A. I dunno? Goat likes chocolate?

**Q. Why didn't Tony notice that the goat was eating Tony?  
**A. Because he was to busy trying to figure out that Gibbs was telling him a goat was eating tony.

**Q. Why would he wear a $200 jacket to the zoo?  
**A. Because he's Tony

**Q. Why would you buy a $200 jacket?  
**A. I dunno.

**Q. What were Kate and Gibbs doing while Tony and Abby were outside the petting zoo and sanitizing their hands?  
**A. Petting goats. And Baby llamas

**Q. Where are they going next?  
**A. The lions, then tigers, then bears then everywhere else. Or will they?

**Q. Have you seen my brain?  
**A. Yes. But, I though it was a stray so I gave to scientists for research. So sorry.

**Q. Poor, Tony, it's never fun being eaten by a goat now is it?  
**A. Unless the goat is really cute.

**Q. Gibbs has never seen the Wizard of OZ? what is wrong with that man?  
**A. Lots.

**Q. By the way, do you know where I can find one?  
**A. A meat grinder? Google it.

Story of the Week: _How I Came to Own a Sword. _By: Theoretical

My family (and I) shall be moving the week of July 18th , so don't expect me to post, but that's not what the story's about. Since we're moving my parents told me that if I cleaned out the attic they would a) Give me $20 and b) let me keep anything I found that I wanted.  
So, while toiling away in the blistering heat, I came across three boxes. One contained a violin, one contained a couple pillows but the last one had a sword in it. I am going to mount it on my new door and frighten away any younger siblings that dare get within thirty yards. Hee hee hee.  
Also, you should be nice to be because this is not a sissy sword. I'm talking a big bulky METAL sword, so I expect NO flames. Not that I ever get any. I can hardly lift the thing either, but that's besides the story.  
In addition to my sword I am now the proud owner of the following; parasol, three new rings, and a cell phone from the 80's that doesn't work.

* * *

Ducky was giving Sunny the grand tour of the building. They had started at the top and were now nearly to the basement. Actually, they were in Abby's lab, the last stop on that floor. Jimmy pushed the stroller in which Sunny was in, into the lab behind Ducky.

Jimmy had made a mental note to buy a penguin, as many women had come up to him, all were for Sunny, but he was willing to take any contact with a opposite sex that he could.

Ducky was showing Sunny what he called 'The Finger Print Machine' and explaining how every single finger print was unique, more unique than DNA if you were talking about identical twins, when the phone in Abby's lab rang.

"One moment." Ducky excused himself to go answer, he knew Abby wouldn't mind.

"Hello?" He asked cheerfully.

"Is this Abigail Sciuto?" Questioned a wary voice on the other line.

"No, this is Ducky. May I take a message, um… I didn't catch your name? What was it again?"

"This is Deputy Carlson, a man broke into her house. Does she have a cell phone or something I could call?"

"Ah, yes, of course, one moment let me think… Mr. Palmer, what is Abby's phone number again? I know it's in some song?…"

"867-5309." Jimmy sang happily, only to be nipped at by Sunny. (Hee hee hee. Do any of ye recognize that number…?)

"Thank you Mr. Palmer. Her number is 8-"

"67-5309. Got it. Thank you for your help Mr. Ducky." Deputy Carlson replied, hanging up before the British medical examiner could reply.

"What was that all about?" Asked Jimmy.

"Some man broke into Abby's house. It may have been McGee seeing as Tony had his keys."

Jimmy laughed a bit only to be met with Ducky's straight face.

"It wasn't funny Mr. Palmer. A man broke into Abby's house. The last time that happened she stayed at my house fun a week, and believe me, it was no fun explaining that to my mother." Ducky half-growled, then turned his attentions back to Sunny, "Now Abby is a 'Goth'. She has lots of tattoo's and wears a lot of black. She doesn't have any piercing that I'm aware of, though."

"Why wouldn't you be aware of any piercings?" Jimmy asked boldly.

"Because, Mr. Palmer, her ears nor any facial feature is pierced and I have not seen or fantasized about anything else that people occasionally pierce." Ducky's eyes met Jimmy's.

"What else to people pierce besides their faces?" Asked Jimmy. He could be quite dim.

Ducky looked nervously at Sunny before whispering in Jimmy's ear.

"You mean some girls actually pierce them? I thought it was just a rumor. Hey- What do you think the chances are that Abby… or Kate, ever got thei-"

"Not in front of Sunny!" exclaimed Ducky, frantically, "I doubt Kate would, but I don't know, nor do I want to know about Abby."

* * *

TBC…

Lemonade recipe (Real.)

**Ingredients/Supplies**

6 lemons  
6 cups cold water  
1 cup sugar  
Ice  
Cups  
Straws  
Pitcher  
Some sort of juicing object

Step 1- Juice lemons and pour into pitcher  
Step 2- Add water  
Step 3- Add sugar  
Step 4- Stir  
Step 5- Drink (cups optional, but once again, if you would like to use glasses, bifocals work best.)


	38. Tofu Palace and a Former Agent

Wow! Amazing! It's two chapters in one!

I don't really want to put a disclaimer.

* * *

Abby cell phone went off as the foursome made their way to the lions.

Tony was eating a hot dog and the lion was staring intently at him. Nervously he swallowed the remaining bits of meat and begun eating the bun.

The beginning of Abby's ring sounded like a lion roaring and this sent Tony into hysterics.

"Nice kitty." He coaxed. Gibbs and Kate who had not heard Abby's phone stared at him blankly, thinking up ways to leave without being associated with Tony.

"Hello?" Abby questioned into her phone.

"This is Deputy Carlson, Am I speaking to Abigail Sciuto? A man named Ducky told me this was her number." Deputy Carlson was not inclined to believe a man who said his name was Ducky.

"Yes… it is I." Abby had absolutely no idea why the police would be calling her.

"Your neighbor saw a man break into your house."

"What!" she yelped, making Tony, Gibbs and Kate hurry over.

"He claims to know you, but if you could come down to the station…" Deputy Carlson paused

"I'll be their A.S.A.P." Abby hung up her phone.

"What's going on?" Kate asked seeing Abby's face.

"Apparently someone broke into my house. They have him in custody, and he claims to know me. But, they want me to come into the station for some reason." Abby looked at them, "So, you guys enjoy the zoo and I'll call myself a cab."

"Nonsense. Gibbs will give you a ride!" Tony piped up. "Kate can stay here and I'll ride back in case you need someone to rough up the intruder a bit?" he asked hopefully.

"I'll give Abby a ride back, but Tony, you can Kate stay here." Both started to protest. "Here's cab money. Since if I came to get you you'd be home in about 9 hours, but you'd have to go straight back to work…"

"Here's a leash." Abby handed a black leash and collar to Kate, "You can use it on Tony." Abby looked at Kate's face. "You know, to keep him from running away…" she explained.

Kate gave a sigh of relief.

"Come one Abby." She and Gibbs left the zoo.

* * *

TBC…

Disclaimer- Hee hee hee. Once again I am NOT putting a disclaimer.

* * *

Abby and Gibbs had left nearly an hour ago and there had been no exchange of words between Kate and Tony.

Tony did not want to be at the zoo and Kate did not want to be at the zoo with Tony.

"Let's leave." Kate said getting out her cell phone and calling a cab. One was in the area so it would only be a five minute wait.

They sat in front of the zoo throwing peanuts at each other, for no apparent reason.

The cab pulled up and they got in.

"So, where too?" Asked the driver. He had random straggles of hair all over his visible body, and smelt like beer.

"Um.. NCIS headquarters." Kate replied, not wanting to give the man her home address.

"You two going to the same place?" the driver asked Tony spurting up a bit a spit when he said 'going'. It drizzled down his chin, but he paid no heed.

"Yup! Were together." He scooted closer to Kate for a dramatic effect.

"And you make a cute couple." He was met with stunned looks from both agents, "you know," he continued, "I was an agent once. My boss was a man named Gibbs. You, ever heard of him?"

"He's our boss." Kate told the man.

"Wow! Well, you two better be wary of Rule number.. What is it? 12?"

"Were not dating!" Kate shot back at him.

"I thought we were." Tony joked as Kate opened the door and stormed out.

"We won't be needing a cab." Tony told the man as he jumped out after her, thankful that the car had not been moving.

"What are you doing?" Tony asked Kate frantically.

"I'm walking." she told him, turning onto a side street and heading in the direction home was.

"Why?" He asked her , "You know, skipping works much better."

Kate rolled her eyes as she turned a corner.

"You can't walk back to Norfolk, ya, know." Tony thought he was stating the obvious.

"Watch me." She growled.

They heard a honk from behind them. It was the cab driver. He had been following them

"Have you changed your mind?" he asked pulling up to them.

"No." Tony shooed the man.

"I could use a drink." Kate sat down on a conveniently placed bench, "And I don't want to walk." She whined.

"I can cater to your needs." Tony smiled, "I have many contacts. Stay right here I'll be back in a second."

He was gone for four minutes, but Kate was still sitting there when he returned.

"It's a 30 minute wait, but it'll be worth it." he said looking down at her.

"What's a 30 minute wait?"

"A ride and drinks." he gave her an odd smile, "In the mean time, let's go to Tofu Palace." Tony was to dim to know what he had done to upset her, but he was going to fix it.

They sat eating tofu until Tony's phone rang.

"Hello?" He questioned. And responded "mmm-hum. Be right there!" Turning to Kate he said, "Our ride awaits us!" He put thirty dollars on the table and the two left.

Kate was feeling a bit better but what she saw next astonished her. In front of the Tofu Palace was a black limo.

"This isn't ours Kate." Tony turned her to the left, where a stretch limo was waiting. "This one is."

They climbed inside and the driver took off.

"And now for your drink?" Tony grabbed a bottle of wine and poured them both a glass.

* * *

TBC…

What will happen when they are drunk?  
Why did I stop asking questions?  
How many people will review?  
Seriously, I need ideas, what should happen when they are drunk?  
Should I make McGee stay in jail?  
And…  
What is the last question?

P.S. Unfortunately, It had to come to an end, and that end it coming near. There will only be a few more chapter of NA, so, I am looking for something to write. As a side project I will be doing an NCIS crossover with CSI but, I plan to write that one out completely before I post it so that I can add chapter at a reasonable pace. (Like every other day. I HATE having to wait for chapters on stories.) Kate's alive in the story, I already have the first two chapters and they are pretty good length. Anyways, so I was thinking about doing a series of either, a) Drabbles, that are not connected in any way or b) Gibbs' doctor orders him to not drink coffee for two weeks. Anyway, let me know which one you thinkI should do. Thanks!


	39. Beach Boys and Cell Phones

It's Disclaimer Time! I do not own any one or the songs in this chapter.

* * *

"_Well, she got her daddy's car and she cruised to the hamburger stand now, seems she forgot about the library, like she told her old man, now and with the radio blasting goes cruising just as fast as she can now!" _Abby sang along with the radio. Gibbs had thought that music would take her mind off the fact that someone had broken into her house. What he hadn't counted on was the radio playing a 50 song 'Beach Boys' marathon. 

He could stand a bit of their music, actually their peppiness kind of reminded him of Abby, but, there was only so much that he could take. Of the beach boys, not Abby, he would never tire of Abby. Snapping off the radio, Gibbs gave her apologetic look.

"So," Abby started, Gibbs wondered where this conversation was going. The last time someone had said 'so' in that tone to him he had ended up with a 'Dear John,' letter, "I wonder how Kate and Tony are?" Gibbs shrugged.

"We could call them."

"Okay." Abby took out her phone dial Kate's number and put it on speaker phone.

"'_ello?" _Came Tony's voice.

"_Gimme!" _Kate yelped. There was a bit of a 'thunk' and both begun laughing hysterically.

"Kate, Tony?" Abby questioned looking at Gibbs.

"_Hi! I'm Kate!" _Said Tony, using the same voice he had earlier to mimic Kate's voice.

Next came the unmistakable sounds of Kate kneeing/hitting Tony, then, mimicking Tony's voice, Kate spoke into the phone.

"_I'm Tony! And cuz I'm Tony I'm drunk and… I like things with boobs! Cuz I'm Tony!"_

"_Well, I'm Kate and I'm drunker and I went out with my, I mean Tony's friend from collage. His name is Steve and I'm going to tell you all the details."_

"_Hey!" _It's was at that point that Gibbs pressed a button on Abby's phone.

"That's not how you hang up." She demonstrated hanging up, "How come we aren't drunk?" Abby laughed.

"Because my best friend doesn't own a Limo company." Gibbs told her simply.

"Tony's friend owns a limo company?"

"Yeah."

"How many favors do you think Tony owes me? And how many favors do you think his friend owes him?"

* * *

TBC… 


	40. Rat Boy and McGee

Disclaimer: Me own-ith not-ith.

I'm answering your questions!

**Q. which one of his wifes gave him the 'Dear John' letter? or was it a girlfriend we don't know about?  
**A. I don't know, but they mentioned it on the show once, I can't remember which episode, and I thought I should say something about it.

**Q. why did Tony answer Kate's phone with a English accent? was he imitating Ducky?  
**A. Hm… I'll have to think about that. Or I could consult the ouija board. Hee hee hee. I know how much everyone loves that thing. OH! New answer! 'No' Weird.

**Q. so drunk Tony likes anything with boobs?  
**A. Actaully, now that I think about, Tony probably wouldn't have to be drunk… lol

**Q. how does Gibbs know that Tony and Kate are in a limo? is he psychic?  
**A. Pretty much.

**Q. how did Tony and Kate get drunk so fast? did they start drinking something other than wine?  
**A. Yes they did start drinking other stuff than wine. You learn about that in the next chapter.

And, now, something to amuse you, or possible make you go insane, or feel nothing at all except a sharp pierce in the back because a steam engine has fallen through the roof of your house but, your doctor gave you some weird drug so you don't know what's going on, and when the police come they will arrest you, thinking your on drugs or something and they'll make you pee in a cup, but you won't need to pee so they will put you in prison and not allow you to pee when you finally have to, so- wait, what were we talking about? Right, Guess what chapter this questions and answer are from- Answer after TBC… and Questions!

**Q. Where are Sunny and Gibbs?  
**A The bullpen. Just you wait and see how Sunny helps with a case. Ye olde grasshopper.

* * *

McGee had to pee. Badly. Very, very badly. It was the most un-opportune time to have to pee. Sitting across the holding cell from him was a small, rat like guy. His eyes were big puffy and he kept jerking his head from side to side, but when a guard came around, he would act totally normal. McGee was sure the man was doing this to frighten him, but he didn't know for sure.

"Uh.. Guard?" McGee asked, "I have to pee."

"That's what the toilet's for." the guard motioned to the gross looking toilet in the corner of the cell.

"But, it's gross and, I don't like to use the rest room in front of people."

The guard simply shrugged and walked away.

"S-s-so, Buddy? Whatca in for?" The rat boy stood up and sat next to McGee.

"I was in my friends house and her neighbor called the cops on me. I think."

"You think? That's what's going to get you sent to the BIG HOUSE" Rat said 'big house' loudly, clearly and did a hand motion whilst saying the words. Then his eye twitched.

"No, she's coming to the station right now to see if she knows me. She and a bunch of other people went to a far away zoo, so she should be here very soon."

"And what is she forgets?" McGee gave Rat an odd look, "Alls I'm saying is that girls they are crazy, you know there's PMS, Menopause and they forget stuff. My girl, she forgot to bail me out. I've been here for three days. Punk." Rat spat in McGee's face murmuring something about girls forgetting and guys not knowing how to treat a girl. McGee was worried, now, and not just because he was in a cell with a Rat who was talking to himself, but because, Abby was a girl.

What if she forgot? Would he turn into Rat? What if Rat's girl came and bailed him out? What if Rat's girl was Abby? Or worse Gibbs?

McGee screamed.

"I want out now! I can't take it! I'm to young to die." He grabbed onto the bars of the cells and begun weeping.

Then he heard a laugh. It was Deputy Carlson, Gibbs and Abby, laughing, not at him but at something else.

"Yeah, that's McGee." Gibbs said putting his arm around Abby's shoulders.

"Okay." Deputy Carlson took one last look at Abby's appearance then opened up the cell.

"Thank you! Thank you!" McGee gasped.

"Looks like she came." Rat informed McGee, who was already well informed of that.

"Come one." Abby told McGee, as Gibbs grabbed him and pulled him up from the ground, "I'll take you to my place, since you so desperately want to be there."

After a quick trip to the bathroom they headed to the NCIS van. Once everyone in the van was safely strapped in, Abby suggested they go get Ducky.

"Why?" Asked Gibbs.

"Well, obviously it's for the movie night. 'Wizard of Oz' Remember? You, Kate, Tony, Ducky and McGee are all going to see if that movie." She was rather forceful.

"Fine." Gibbs rolled his eyes and changed his route to NCIS headquarters.

"And, we should wait for Tony and Kate. They sounded drunk on the phone." McGee didn't know what Abby was talking about, and he was sure he didn't want to know either.

* * *

TBC…

Will Kate and Tony ever be sober again?  
Did Sunny miss Gibbs?  
Am I a penguin?  
Are you a penguin?  
How about a grasshopper?  
Is anyone reading this story from prison?  
And…  
What do sporks have to do with this story?

(And yes, they will be part of this story. Not a major part, but a bit of one. )

That question and answer were fromchapter 17.


	41. Drunk

Disclaimer: Me no own.

News! I have posted the first two chapters of DeCaff! Whoo! Read it. Or else. And it would be great if you'd review.

LMR- Me? Becoming a Gabby shipper? Just a bit. But DeCaff will have a VERY McAbby scene in it.

* * *

Caitlin Todd was drunk. She rarely got drunk. That wasn't to say she didn't drink, though. She would often have some wine a dinner or, sometimes, a beer. But never more than one glass or one bottle. She did not like being drunk. The last time she had been totally drunk, she had wound up with a tattoo. Over the years she had grown fond of it, but that was besides the point. 

Actually, she wasn't drunk., she was very, very, very, drunk. And she was with Tony.

An empty bottle of wine lay near them, and in their hands each had a half empty bottle of vodka. Well, Kate had vodka. Tony had tequila.

"I never…" Kate couldn't under stand the rest of what Tony said so she took a drink, just in case.

He stared at her and she shrugged.

"I never kissed Gibbs!" Kate said and neither took a drink.

"I've never kissed someone Name Kate, or Tony!" Tony laughed. Neither took a drink, "never mind, I've never played 'I never'"

Both drank.

"I've never taken oreos from a trucker!" Kate suggested and took a drink. Tony was surprised, "He was an Oreo trucker, you see, and me and my friends were in the car next to him and were we at a red light and waving and we were interacting, so he gave us Oreos." She explained.

Both begun laughing.

"Hey!" Kate looked at her phone, "Abby's calling!"

Tony lunged at her phone, even though he but sitting next to her. "'Ello?" He asked.

* * *

TBC… 


	42. A Drabble For Ducky

Disclaimer: Me no own.

a/n: This is a short little feel-good chapter, that I just felt like writing.

* * *

Sunny was beginning to grow on Ducky. Of course, Ducky had always been rather fond of animals, and could stand them for long periods of time, but Sunny was different.

Different in a good way. The snuggly penguin seemed almost human-esque. Ducky had noticed the penguin was not scared that, Gibbs had left, and Sunny snubbed all the food Ducky attempted to give him, except for a slice of berry pie.

Sunny went directly Gibbs upon his arrival, and Ducky noticed a mood change in Gibbs that second he picked up the penguin.

"Gibbs seems almost father-like with Sunny." Abby whispered to Ducky, and he shook his head in agreement.

* * *

TBC… 


	43. Tailgated by Gibbs

Disclaimer: Do I EVER own it?

I hope NCIS comes out on DVD soon…

* * *

Kate and Tony had stopped drinking. Mostly because they had run out of alcohol.

By the time the limo arrived at NCIS headquarters, both were nearing soberness. The limo had gone slow(ish) on the freeway, and it was nearing nine at night. Outside of the building were Gibbs, Abby, McGee, Ducky and Sunny, who had been kicked out 15 minutes earlier by an annoyed janitor.

They stumbled out of the limo and were promptly escorted by Gibbs and Ducky into Abby's car.

Ducky, Gibbs and Sunny were to take Gibbs' car to Abby's house for the movie night, Abby had the great pleasure of Tony and Kate while McGee rode his bike.

Naturally, Abby had offered him a ride, but, McGee didn't want to be confined anywhere after being with Rat for nearly four hours.

"So, Abby?" Tony asked, barely coherent, "who was the guy in your house?" Kate elbowed him.

"McGee."

"McGee broke into your house?" Kate sat up straight.

"No, he used my key."

"The one under the Venus Fly Trap?"

"Yup."

Kate and Tony stopped talking, allowing Abby to concentrate on calling Gibbs.

"Will you stop tailgating me?" she half yelled into the phone.

Tony and Kate turned around to see who it was.

"Hi Gibbs!" They yelled waving at him.

"Well, Abby," Gibbs stuck his head out of the car, "If you would move…"

"It's a red light." she said into her phone.

"Not anymore" Gibbs said as stuck his head out of the window again.

Abby stepped on the gas and turned left reaching a yellow light. From behind her she heard what sounded like, 'you could have made that.'.

"Oh! My! God!" Kate yelled pointing out the front window. Across the street was McGee, somehow ahead of them.

"Step on it!" Tony yelled, even thought he light was red and a steady stream of traffic was going by them.

* * *

TBC… 


	44. Chapter 44 and 45 or 45 and 46

Disclaimer: Penguin rock. I don't own.

Two in one!

Chapter 44 (Or, if you'd like, 45.)- Return of the Hot Bug Dude

* * *

When entering Abby's house, most were surprised at how normal it looked. Except for the pictures on the walls, but those were another matter.

In fact, the only room that looked like Abby, or her clothes anyway, was her bed/coffin room.

Abby's house looked small from the outside but, it was really quite large. The entire team headed into Abby's den. She refused to put the TV somewhere obvious, not wanting it to run her life. Her computer, one the other hand, was easily found.

Kate had seen 'The Wizard of Oz', and didn't want to see it again. Not because she didn't like it but because she saw another DVD that Abby had.

"You have CSI? With the hot bug dude? Lets watch that instead!" she proclaimed as Abby put 'The Wizard of Oz' in.

"We are watching 'The Wizard of Oz' and that's final." Abby told her, "now sit." she pointed to the only open spot that wasn't on the floor.

"Yes, Katie, sit." Tony prompted, patting the space next to him. As she sat down she punched him.

"Kate, play nicely. I'm sure that Abby does not want to have to get Tony's blood out of her futon." Gibbs told her, giving her a stern look.

She rolled her eyes.

* * *

TBC…

Chapter 45/6- Fornel's Discovery

* * *

The team had forgotten all about watching the movie about 45 minutes through when, Sunny had fallen asleep. In the few minutes following Sunny falling asleep so had every one except Gibbs, who feel asleep the second the movie was over.

Fornel, of course, did not know that there was a very innocent explanation of why an NCIS, who the FBI was _willing _going to ask for help (and that did not happen every day.) were all asleep on a futon. And the floor. With a penguin.

Had he known the events of the day before, he would have realized that they could have done absolutely nothing to prevent their current situation.

Technically, I guess you could say that it started even longer ago, when they solved a case and decided to go out for drinks.

Had McGee not tried to hit on a red head, that Gibbs had been staring at, Abby would have never had to rescue him. Or course, McGee was drunk at the time of this incident, and Tony being the ever helpful, had assisted Abby in loading him into her car, then, being the ever mean-ish, he had helpfully taken McGee pants.

Fornel, did not know any of this. Picking up his cell phone, he dialed the director of NCIS. 

"Gibbs' team is sleeping together." he told the director, who, judging by his reaction, seemed less than surprised. His reaction was:

* * *

Go to the next chapter to read the last line of the story… 


	45. Last Lines

"_It was bound to happen sometime. I'm assuming they used condoms."_

The End!


End file.
